Complications
by RunAwayWithMeInTheNight
Summary: Human AU. fem!Prussia is a single pregnant woman not looking for love when she bumps into an old high school friend male!Hungary. The two rekindle their friendship and romance blossoms. Deanon from kink meme.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** Another fanfiction originally posted for the Kink Meme. fem!Prussia is Maria, male!Hungary is Eli, and fem!Austria is Rue.

If it were up to Maria Beilschmidt she would still be in her underwear sitting on the couch of the apartment that she shared with one of her best friends. But that so-called-best-friend, Francis, had practically shoved her out of the door in the only thing she owned that could make it over her growing abdomen (that wasn't sweatpants), and dead bolted the apartment door until she came back with something decent to add to her closet. Needless to say Maria was pretty much pissed off wearing a floral dress (the only dress she owned and it had been a gift from Francis for her last birthday) wandering around the mall looking for some maternity store.

Yeah she was pregnant, single and pregnant. It hadn't even been like she was willing to admit that she was expecting to herself. After all Maria was in one of those mutually destructive crazy people relationships (that seemed to be everywhere in popular music last year). Her former boyfriend was six feet plus of pure, concentrated, Russian, crazy, that was hung like a horse and oddly enough a florist, Ivan Braginsky. Maria couldn't put her finger on why it was she had even started a relationship with the guy (though she attributed it to the fact he could hold his booze just as well as she could and was hung like a horse) but they had been in one weird relationship for a good couple of years. Neither one of them were for talking out their feelings and both were quick to insult one another and start swinging before they would just end up having rough make-up sex on the floor of his apartment.

As things usually went they would date for a couple of weeks fight free. Then something would end up happening, and there would be a massive fight followed by sex; the problem wouldn't be resolved and Maria would just leave him. Flat out no words or anything for a week or maybe two if it was something major, before she would go back to him, they would fuck somewhere and everything would return back to normal—only to had the whole process repeat its self. Sure it was unhealthy and any normal person would be able to see that but it worked for the two of them, it was the plain and simple.

However after their last fight and Maria's storming off to leave Ivan something happened. At first it was just the second missed period in two months, the first of which she contributed to the stress of being in a relationship that was so not normal; the second one she contributed to that too. Unluckily for her though she let it slip to Francis, who being the nosy ass he was immediately said she was pregnant, and that would contribute to the fact that she was eating so much more than usual. Francis couldn't keep his mouth shut worth a shit and ran off to tell their other partner in crime Antonio of his suspicions. Antonio had two boys with his ex-wife (and Maria's _perfect_ cousin Rue) so he thought of himself as an expert on pregnant women from that experience and decided that that was why she had been so much bitchier than usual. The two morons of course took it on themselves to force Maria into taking a piss test, that lo-and-behold stared up at her with a little plus sign.

Yeah she was having a baby.

And in that instant that she starred down at that little stick telling her that she was having a baby a choice had to be made. And she was The Awesome Maria "Fucking" Beilschmidt so that decision was that she was going to have this baby, be the most amazing mom ever, and not let Ivan know anything about it. There was no way that a kid could grow up in the kind of environment that she and Ivan had with one another, so all ties had to be cut off from him. And how hard could being a single mom be? She had a decent job, a roof over her head, and her dad was still loaded there was no way he'd allow his daughter and grandson (even if the kid was a bastard) end up on the streets. She totally had it in the bag.

But she totally didn't have any maternity clothes and having began her second trimester there was a growing need for them, thus there she was wasting a perfectly good Saturday at the mall trying to find a damn store so she could please her stupid roommate Francis (she just knew he was on the couch making out with his newest girlfriend or some shit like that).

As she marched through the mall determined to find her destination and leave as quickly as possible she heard, "Maria Beilschmidt!" Some guy called her name, she didn't turn around to look. There was no way she was in the mood to deal with anyone right now. "Hey Maria I know that's you," the voice got closer. She continued to ignore it until a hand was placed on her shoulder at that point she was ready to deck whoever it was.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE—" she stopped immediately looking up into a pair of green eyes, green eyes that she instantly recognized, and after scanning over the man's features, brown hair that would come just past his shoulders if it wasn't pulled back into a ponytail. Maria was silent for a moment after lowering her fist, she couldn't believe her eyes. There right in front of her was Eli Herdervary one of her old romping buddies from back in the day (which was what only eight years ago) but she still needed to act like it was no big deal being reunited with an old friend (she so never had a crush on) and regain her composer; putting her signature smirk right onto her lips, "Glad to see you still have that gay ass hair style. When are you gonna be a _real_ man and get a decent haircut?"

His response was to laugh, "I knew it had to be you." He smiled right back at her, "How many albino girls have that piss poor attitude and killer legs."

She gave him a hallow laugh, "Should you really be saying that as a married man? Rue would be pissed." Rue her prissy little stuck up piano playing cousin that at one point had stolen her dear (stupid) friend Antonio only to dump him for Eli (after popping out two boys she proceeded to dump on Antonio). It always amazed Maria that Rue didn't ever pick up Francis too, she seemed to always go after the men that Maria hung out with.

"Aren't you Rue's cousin?" Eli asked holding up his purchase, it was a new microwave oven. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, well were' not married anymore, so I had to buy this guy."

"You should have known not to get tangled up in her. You were her second husband after all and what kind of woman gets two divorces before she's thirty right?"

"You two are related—"

"Yeah but she dumped my Toni after stealing him from Francis and I, and left him with the boys. Poor guy has no more free time what with the diapers, drooling and the older one's got one nasty ass head butt in him. But perfect little Rue refuses to let Antonio bust the old belt out." With the last word she made a whipping motion before grinning up at Eli.

"Let's not talk about her. What have you been up to? Anyone manage to tame the wild beast that is Maria Beilschmidt? You are getting on in years."

She placed both hands on either hip and tilted her head back to give a good old hardy laugh. "Right like anyone could slow me down, man I am still 100% in my prime on top of the mother fucking game." She stood up straight again, "No one's ever going to slow the awesome me down, and that is a promise."

"Is that so?" he chuckled butting his bag down and reaching in his pocket, "Give me your number since you are never going to get slowed down awesome you, and I am a bachelor again. Maybe we could head out do some catching up, and evade the law; you know for old time's sake."

"Oh right, I would be down for that." She said with a grin way more innocent then the smirk she had in place earlier and pulled out her cell phone, giving him her number after he gave her his.

"See you around then?"

"Yeah see you around, enjoy your new appliance. And get laid I know you need it after being with that frigid bitch."

The two laughed as he walked away and she went on to find that maternity store Francis sent her looking for.


	2. Chapter 2

Maria stepped off of the bus. Her terrible eye site made it so that she couldn't really drive without wearing the world's dorkiest pair of coke bottle glasses, and the fact that she no longer had a man to take her from place to place added to the suckage. Sure Francis was around but he sucked and always had some kind of excuse as to why he couldn't take her somewhere, and while Antonio was always ready to take her where she needed to go he would have to drag his boys around as well. So the city bus was her chariot. She tucked down into the back alley way where the others that lived in her apartment building parked their cars and Maria made her way up the fire escape to the back door of the apartment that she shared with Francis doing her best to make sure she didn't drop anything on the steep iron stairs, or over the edge, her day was already sucking enough without having to make a second trip to gather what she'd dropped into the dingy parking spaces bellow.

Getting to her door she gave it a good kick. No one answered her specifically but she could hear voices inside the room. ("What was that?" a woman's voice asked. Francis had replied with "Probably just one of the neighbor kid's. They have no manners." Then something in French that Maria didn't understand but knew had to be lame and mushy—that was so Francis's style). She made a low growling noise in the back of her throat before giving the door another good kick. When that didn't warrant a reply, Maria vowed to cock-block her roommate so hard. No way in hell was she going to let him get any ass today after forcing her to go out shopping and no making her have to unlock the door on her own. She really was hoping that he was already half naked ready to put the moves on the lady friend of the week.

Under normal circumstances, Maria was willing to let things slide. She had been sex-iled from her apartment before on many occasions so that Francis could get his freak on all over the place. Hell, she was a bro, and could totally cheer him on as her did his 'thang'—but today was different he'd forced her into a dress, sent her out shopping, and was now refusing to be a man and open the door for her.

Maria pressed the bags of clothes between her body and the door, fishing the key to the door out from her bra. It probably was a safety hazard or something locking the fire escape door; but it was better than wandering into the living room in just her panties as someone tried to rob the place. The lock clicked and she made a sound of success as the bags tumbled from their tucked spot and onto the carpeted living room floor. The woman, a pretty Asian lady that Maria had never seen before, gasped as she came into the room kicking the clothes out of her path with a death glare aimed right at Francis. Francis always the master of composure just smiled at her, "Ah I see that you're home already Maria. I swear you are the only woman in need of a whole entire wardrobe that can manage to buy what she needs in only a couple of hours." He turned to look at his guest, "_Ma __poupée_, this is my roommate Maria, as you can see she is just as rude as I was telling you she was."

"Oh I wouldn't say that…" the woman said giving Francis a confused look and clearly trying to be as polite as she could to the strange angry woman that had just kicked two bags of clothes all over the living room floor, "It's nice to meet you, Maria, I'm Kim." She stood up reaching her hand out.

Maria took it with a huge, overly eager, fake grin plastered across her face, "Oh yes of course it's nice to meet you too." She said in a voice to match the maniac smile, "Did you know there are STDs that can be contracted even when you properly use a condom?"

Kim gave her a weird look, and Francis decided it was his turn to shoot deadly glares. Though he was more careful to conceal them from the guest then his roommate had been. "Maria you're off work today, don't you think you should avoid giving people education lessons?"

"Oh Francis don't you know the job of an educator is never over! Really though Miss Kim, I feel the need to share that with you, if some people would have known that, then I wouldn't have to share that information with you. You need to be careful."

"Well thank you." She looked uneasy now, and turned to face Francis, "I suppose I should get going then." she moved around to gather up her things all the while with an awkward smile on her face, "Lunch really was lovely—I'll call you later I guess."

The Frenchman stood up from the couch and retrieved his date's jacket from the closet handing it to her. "Please do, we should go somewhere nice next time where interruptions are impossible." He lead her to the door and kissed her cheeks gently, "be safe."

"I will. And it was nice meeting you Maria."

"You too dear, and remember when you have sex, you're having sex with everyone else your partner, and their partners have ever slept with as well."

Francis shut the door and locked it before looking at his roommate, arms across his chest clearly pissed at her. "What that necessary?"

"If you would have opened the door then it wouldn't have been." Maria kicked off her shoes and made her way to the kitchenette to find something to eat, her stomach was making angry noises and she's learned a couple of weeks ago to keep her belly happy or deal with crouching over the toilet.

"You could have taken the hint and gone somewhere else until I was finished." He replied kneeling on the floor to look through what she had bought. While Francis was a lover he was also a man of fashion and what his roommate wore concerned him. He had been tempted to use her time away gathering up all of the sweatpants she's been wearing and burning them. Then he realized she would probably retaliate by torching his designer suites.

"And where the fuck would I have gone?" she asked popping a plastic container of last night's left overs in the microwave, "God knows how long you can go at it."

"Antonio could probably use a break, and you could use the practice. I fear for that child you are carrying."

"When we fucked last time you nor Antonio seemed to worry about any kid I could possibly conceive."

"Admittedly I thought your ovaries had been destroyed by your rough housing. Clearly they can withstand more then what I thought was possible. This top is cute." She said holding up a navy blue blouse that was slightly sheer she had snagged off of the clearance rack, "you actually managed to pick out some decent things. I must admit that's shocking."

"I've got taste Frenchie." She said plopping down on the couch legs propped up on the coffee table digging into her lunch.

"You could have fooled me with the way you wander around here. You dress like a homeless man."

Maria stuck her tongue out at that and flipped the TV on. "Oh, guess who lost her man again?" she sand out as Francis began to fold the clothes.

"Rue." His tone was flat.

"Yeah how did you know?" she was clearly disappointed he had found out before her.

"Antonio told me. And before you ask how he knows remember he has the boys."

"I figured that much out." She pouted.

"How did you find out?"

Maria felt her cheeks getting warm and immediately cursed her pregnancy hormones. Those damn things had her acting like a total dork in the car just thinking about Eli. It was most unawesome; like she was a middle school girl (and even when she had been in middle school, Maria had been most un middle school girl like). "I ran into Eli at the mall. He was buying some stuff for his bachelor pad."

"Is that so? How is he taking the divorce?"

"OK. Why?"

"He was pretty in love with your cousin wasn't he. Antonio was too, probably still is. I don't know what he would have done if he wasn't given custody of the boys, you know how much he loves children."

"Yeah he's a total chick when it comes to kids. Anyways Eli and I exchanged numbers so we're going to hand out when we get the chance. You know celebrate his knew found freedom, god knows he needs it after being married to Rue, poor guy probably hasn't had sex since before he go with her."

"Are you forgetting she managed to conceive twice?"

"That had to be a fluke of some kind, like Antonio came on the toilet seat. Can you really see Rue having sex. She's got to think it's absolutely filthy with all those fluids and stuff, you know?"

"Only you can make sex sound that unsexy, ma cheri Maria." Francis laughed.

Maria sat with her head on her desk. She should have known better by now then to skip breakfast. Her stomach was doing summersaults and her head was pounding. She should probably have called into work or something like that; she sighed turning her head trying to avoid making red marks appear on that side of her cheek. The worst thing about being albino wasn't the fact her eyes were shit, it was the damned lack of pigment. Not only did it make it so that the sun was her mortal enemy, but also that if she were to blush it was oh so apparent (which was unawesome to the extreme) and her face was quick to going red.

"Uh, Ms. Beilschmidt, are we going to do anything today?" a small male voice that sounded nowhere near being ready for puberty asked.

"Shut up Raivis she's clearly drunk again!" the only English boy she taught, Peter Kirkland hushed his friend. Right those stupid trumpet players thinking they knew every goddamned thing, even when they were twelve.

"I don't think she's actually drunk… maybe hung over…" the first boy said to his friend. _Weren't woodwinds supposed to hate the horn section?_ Maria thought.

"How about you all shut it?" She groaned lifting her head up.

"Do you need to see the nurse Ms. Beilschmidt?" one of her flute players Lili said softly, "Maybe she has some pain killers for your head ache ma'am."

Trust a flute girl to be sensible. Maria felt a swell of pride in her old section. Yeah fuck the haters flute was so badass—even if most of them were prissy little girls.

"YEAH! And I can watch the class for you, conduct and everything!" Peter spoke in his loudest voice.

"Eww no—that would be terrible!" some girl that Maria didn't really care about said absolutely offended by the thought.

She was about to slip and swear at the whole lot of them—a suspension didn't sound half bad right now; but the vibration of her cell phone in her pocket distracted her. It was Eli, and suddenly Maria felt as if she had the energy to go on and was practically giddy (like only the lamest of her preteen students did when the boy they liked told them that they were looking less cootie filled then usual—or something like that). "Whatever, just run through your scales guys, I'll be listening still from the hall. Anyone who messes up I am going to beat over their head with the instrument, don't test me either." There was a unified groan, they must have thought that they were Going to get away with not doing anything, that could wait before the call went over to voicemail.

"Hello?" Maria said as soon as she made it through the double doors.

"Are you busy right now?" Eli asked right away.

"Yeah, kind of but I've got a minute. What's up?" she looked down the hallway hoping the principal would not choose right now for a surprise visit.

"I was thinking we could get together tonight, our favorite bar—you know the one that never would check our IDs." He chuckled a little bit likely thinking off all of the fun they used to half getting blitzed and still being in high school.

"Man, it's Tuesday."

"We're grown ups, we can go out on a school night. I'll even give you a ride home so you won't be out too late." That time he went all out with his laugh without going into the stupid territory where he would snort.

Maria found herself smiling thankful that it wasn't a video call. "Yeah I think I could do that. How does six sound?"

"Good."

"OK cool, I'll see you then. Sorry I've got to get going, young minds to mold and all that shit." She hung up the phone before pressing it against her chest and making an undignified squealing noise causing the chorus teacher to look out in the hallway and roll her eyes once she realized it was just her noisy coworker. If Maria wasn't on the security camera she would have flashed the snooty bitch the bird. Luckily said snooty bitch had brought her out of her stupid and that was all she needed to collect herself and get on with what she was supposed to be doing.


	3. Chapter 3

Maria entered the dingy little pub she had promised to meet Eli at. It was just as she remember from their teen years; the perfect place to hit up before you're twenty one—everyone knew the staff never checked IDs, the booze was cheap, and despite its reputation for being the spot to drink underage it never got shut down and the police never busted them. There so many memories of drinking a shit ton before she would eventually black-out. Maria liked to believe she would get into awesome bar fights beat up a couple of beefy dudes then somehow end up back at home with minimal vomiting and chances of alcohol poisoning (if she was really lucky she wouldn't get into any trouble with her father—though she was pretty sure he'd given up completely on making her into his "sweet little girl again").

She scanned the dimly lit basement room, it wasn't nearly as crowded as it was on those weekend nights ten years ago, so she quickly spotted Eli. He was sitting in the same booth he, Antonio, Francis, and herself would occupy with whatever girl Francis was currently dating. "Yo bro," she said brightly sliding into the seat across from him a huge smile on her face, "been waiting a long time for me?"

"It's been about fifteen minutes, but I'm smart enough to know better than to expect you to be here on time."

"It's not like I can force the bus to speed, baby. I made be made of awesome, but it works by completely different rules then magic." She smiled.

"I thought that they were the same thing." Eli said with a little laugh as the first two beers were brought to the table, "I went ahead and ordered the first two, you still like your booze cheap as long as it gets you drunk right?"

"Oh I don't drink anymore…" Maria said looking down at the grimy table with swear words and initials of couples that most certainly had broken up carved into the surface.

"Court Ordered AA finally get you to quite?" he laughed sliding the glass mug towards her.

"Fuck no! The police cannot get me, and you know it. It's not that at all, my reasons are more temporary." 

He shrugged sliding her portion closer to him, "Fine then more for me I guess." He took a long swig from his own drink and as he was busy beginning to drink Maria went ahead and ordered herself a Coke and the two of them some chili cheese fries. "So why is it?" Eli asked once she returned to her seat.

"Oh nothing," she turned head and mumbled, "I'm just pregnant."

"Hm? What was that?" he leaned across the table.

"I just said that I was pregnant." Again she mumbled the last word.

"I can't be hearing you right… because I swear I heard you just say that you're pregnant." The look on his face was clearly pure confusion.

"That's what I said." She said with a little sigh, "I've got a little bun in the oven or whatever the fuck people say."

Eli just starred at her for a moment in silence, like she had just proven she really have a five meter dick. It was shocking to him to say the least there was something about Maria Beilschmidt being pregnant that was kind of borderline disturbing. It was seemingly impossible, sure she was sexually active and he was pretty sure that she wasn't always careful (no one could boast a perfect record as far as that sort of thing went). "No way… who managed to conquer the savage bitch beast?"

"Ha ha ha" Maria's arms were crossed as she shot him a look, "No one real important, just some dick wad that I will not be talking to again anytime soon."

"One night stand?"

"Nope, we were dating—just no longer interested in him."

"Why not?"

Maria sighed, "It wasn't working out." She shot him a look before taking a long drink of her soda, hoping the glare she was giving him would be enough to give him the hint to drop the topic. The waiter dropped off the fries then backed away clearly feeling the tension between the two of them.

Eli looked her right in the eyes not ready to back down, "If I tell you what went wrong with Rue and I, would you tell me about your doomed relationship." He took a fry and popped it into his mouth, "After all here we are two old friends, recently made single, sitting in a bar; despite the fact that you're not boozing it up there is no reason we can't be as cliché as possible."

"I guess we could do that?" Maria said with a little laugh (pulling the fries closer to her, she needed the calories and all of the greasy badness- what with the diet Francis had been forcing on her). Sure she really didn't feel like discussing the details of her most dysfunctional relationship with her crazy-ass Russian baby daddy, but the temptation of knowing what it was that had made Eli no longer want Rue was too great. It was completely unhealthy and certainly abnormal to have such a strong hatred for her cousin. But, after being compared to the perfect little Rue her whole entire life, and having the prissy little bitch steal away most of her men (all of them but Francis really)—there was so much satisfaction to be gained when it came to her failures. There was no way in hell the symphony nor her record label was going to drop her anytime soon so the only thing that was going to be able to feed her hunger until those happy happy days (that would likely never come) was knowing why it was she was unable to have a successful marriage yet again.

The gossipy, bitchy, vindictive (and totally stereotypically female) wheels in Maria's head began to turn. She could practically feel herself getting giddy. Rue had been the one to cut off the marriage to Antonio. He was all about trying to make it work out, but had been "too stupid" in the bitch's words to be able to fix it. Sure Antonio was an idiotic airhead (most of the time) but that was what his charm was all about! She found him to be lazy because of his refusal to get a job after she had Lovino, but there was no way she was going to take any time off and he felt guilty about leaving their child with someone that wasn't him nor her, and he still kept the house clean and cooked three square meals everyday on top of taking care of that little asshole Lovino (no way would she ever call the kid that to Antonio's face but frankly the kid was an asshole—and everyone but his father seemed to see that). Eli was a pretty well rounded guy pretty much everything that Rue wanted in a husband outside of being a spineless puddle of goo.

Eli snuck a couple of fries past Maria's arms earning another glare from her, "I need some energy to get through it OK." He added a bit of an uneasy laugh before sighing, reaching up, and running his hands through his hair, "Right, well the quickest way I can say it is that Rue was having an affair—"

"No way." Maria mouthed.

"Apparently with her solo tour manager Vash, which is weird because I always thought he was asexual, or interested online in his weapons or something weird like that." He shrugged, "there was no way I would be able to stay with her and have her sleeping with another man while she was away on tour, especially when I was sitting back home being faithful, save for my left hand and everything."

"No way. Rue actually was cheating on you—like having sex and what not?"

"Yeah, the kicker is she's been with this guy like that since before she left Antonio."

"Oh my god! Why would she even go ahead and get with you?" Eli shrugged, "Shit man, that sucks. I would never guess she would be up to something like that." Maria kept her face serious but tucked that information into the back of her head ready to pop out next time her father asked why she couldn't be more like her cousin or the next time Antonio was getting all sad and stuff over his failed marriage.

"So what about you, and the kid's father?"

"It was both of us." Maria said with a gulp, "Basically the relationship was purely physical because that's what I was looking for, combine that with the fact that he probably needs to be medicated, and my lack of ability to be mature." She shrugged and didn't a slight pout-frown thing that she so picked up from years of being around Francis, "Really I should have broken it off years ago, but hey there was something about him that kept bringing me back, until our last fight and my given into actually believing that I was really pregnant. That's what it took for me to get that the relationship was going nowhere good. It just didn't seem fair to the kiddo to birth it into that kind of environment."

"That's kind of a mature and grown up thing…" Eli said with a little smile, "That kind of thinking isn't typical of you is it? But at the same time it's not and frankly unfair… maybe a touch selfish too."

"What do you mean? He'd slap me around sometimes." She pointed the last fry which was in her hand at Eli, mostly for dramatic effect. "Don't get me wrong though," she popped it in her mouth, "I don't take that kind of bullshit from anyone, huge cock or anything, I always got a few good hits in before it was said and done." Eli scoffed as if saying iYeah and you probably were the one to start with the punches and what not more than half the time too/i, "So yeah it was the best choice really."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you're not going to let the baby know his father." He eyed her, "And you have to admit that that's not fair."

"Fuck no, I'm awesome. The only parent the kid could ever need."

"Did you even tell your ex-boyfriend that you are pregnant?"

She shook her head, "Nope. He doesn't need to know and if he did it would just make things messier. I don't want him around and knowing his crazy-ass he would so want to be ioverly/i involved." She shuddered, "I can imagine him with that creepy smiling, rubbing my stomach, and cooing—so disturbing."

"Most women would find that endearing."

"Most women aren't pregnant with the child of a man that needs to be institutionalized. He has this scarf that he always wears. The only time he takes it off is in the shower, summer, winter, sleeping, having sex, ialways/i. What kind of mentally stable person does that? The only time it gets washed is when he's at his older sister's place, she can coax it off of him but no one else."

"That is kind of sweet…" he looked confused, "in a weird way… yeah your right it's not normal." Maria nodded to extenuate her point, "But he still has a right to know, you know?"

"You're not going to convince me otherwise Eli, so it's best if you just don't try to."

He laughed a little, "You're always so stubborn. But I can't help but worry about you, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask, OK?"

"Don't get mushy on me man. You know with these pregnancy hormones I never know when I am going to blow chunks."

Maria entered her apartment building, this time through the front door, waving at Eli as he pulled off seeing that she had made it into the building alright. She was still riding the high of seeing the guy and having a chance to go ahead and catch up on everything, hell even telling him about Ivan felt kind of good (and knowing the truth about why he and Rue had called it quits, the fact that it had been her fault made knowing all the more better). She made her way up the wide staircase hand on the banister , then to the apartment on the third floor.

Before she could even get her key in the hole the door swung open and she was pulled into a hug, "Thank goodness you're alive." Well it looked like Antonio was over.

"Glad to see you're alive too buddy." She said patting him on the back as she shut the door and took her shoes off.

Her Spanish friend took her by the hand and led her to the couch, "We were so worried about you. It's nearly nine-thirty and you weren't home yet."

Maria turned to look at Francis and smirked, "You were worried about me?" she asked tilting her head to the side, "Oh I am so touched."

"It was all Antonio." Francis said casually as he cleaned under his finger nails.

"You must be hungry being out so late." Antonio stood up, "I'll fix you a plate, just sit here and wait."

Maria sighed, he was always so eager to make sure she was fully fed. At least he respected her decision as a grown woman to not like to eat her vegetables. She looked down at the floor where Antonio's two boys Lovino and Feliciano were playing. Or well Lovino was building with his over sized blocks and Feliciano was sucking one of his covered in drool looking up at Maria. She melted with his big brown eyes on her and she couldn't help but pick up the younger boy grinning as she hugged him close to her chest, he was so cute despite his drooling problem. Plus he was a sweet child that didn't swear and hit people like his older brother. The older boy shot her a look though as she cooed and gushed over little Feli who made happy little baby noises. Maria would be pretty happy if she wound up with a baby like Feliciano, sure he cried a lot; but he made up for it by being so cute and generally well behaved otherwise. Plus he didn't crawl around and move a lot so as long as he had something to chew on and something else to distract him there wasn't a reason to worry about him eating chemicals or getting hurt.

Antonio returned with a plate of food and the two of swapped causing Lovino to kick his building over and march to his father demanding to be picked up as well, complete with calling him a bastard. "So where were you?" the Spaniard asked completely unfazed by his child's insult.

"Out with a friend—"

"Was it Eli?" Francis asked as he inspected his handy work on his nails lounging on the other sofa.

Maria felt her cheeks get warm and went right to willing the color away, thankful that what Antonio had cooked was a bit spicy. That was an easy scapegoat. "Yeah, we went out to dinner."

"How is he doing?" Antonio asked brightly, despite the change in his face going just a touch darker.

"Alright from what I gather; we were just talking and catching up on everything. He knows I'm pregnant now."

"That's good." Francis said with a smile, "I was worried you were going to sleep with him as soon as possible then try and pin the kid on him." He seemed to be finished with his inspection.

"Like hell—" she glanced at the two boys who seemed unfazed by her curse and Antonio didn't seem to mind either, "As if I would do something shady like that." She stuffed her face with a forkful of food.

The Frenchman eyed her a bit with suspicion, "What did you two talk about?"

"How much life sucks. Basically I went on about Ivan, he went on about Rue," Antonio's face got a degree darker, "how much or jobs blow. Typical stuff like that."

"So was it a date?"

"No way, just two people catching up."

"Over dinner—" Antonio said, grin brightening up.

"Talking about their most recent past lovers—"

"Did he drive you home?" the Spaniard asked.

Maria nodded.

"It was so a date then!" her two best friends said in unison as she felt her cheeks getting warmer.


	4. Chapter 4

Maria starred up at the dark ceiling of her bedroom. She was trying to fall asleep but the blush on her cheeks was making it rather difficult to do so. She had to be up by six in the morning if she wanted to make it to work on time, five thirty if she didn't want to repeat the morning sickness from hell like she had earlier on in the day. Rolling over on her side she decided to focus on the lamp that sat on her night table.

She was rather annoyed with Francis and Antonio's teasing her over the casual meeting that she had with Eli. If she would have told them that is had to be 100% casual seeing how it was the spot that they used to hit up in their high school years to booze it up illegally then there was no way in hell that that could possibly be considered a date (who would take a girl to that place if he was looking to get laid) but she knew better than to say that because it would quickly turn into them ganging up on her about drinking while she was pregnant. Maria knew all the risks that came with that and had put the bottle down the moment she found out she was expecting at hadn't touched it since. She knew what people who had fetal alcohol syndrome looked like, what with the small eyes and thin lips, no one wanted to make out with someone that had lips that didn't look delicious, what kind of mother would she be ruining the game of her future child while it was still in the womb?

Yet for all of the annoyance she felt towards her two friends for teasing her about her none-date-date-only-according-to-the-to-of-them was not the only thing keeping her up; Maria was also wondering, if there was any chance, any at all… that she and Eli had actually been on a date. Well there was the chance that he had invited her to the bar with motive that were less than pure: get her shit faced, then take her back to his place so that he may have his wicked way with her, only to have that plan come crashing down when he found out that she was pregnant… but that would be more like a planned out date rape, and not an actual date. Or maybe he had chosen that location because of its nostalgic value. Sure the filthy, dim, pub was far from romantic but it was a place she was familiar with and had been to with him in the past bringing on a charm that another woman wouldn't see. The thought: he knew her so well that he would select a place like that rather than the kind of classy spot that most other women would prefer would just irritate Maria—and that he wanted to show how much he cared for her by selecting a place that fit her tastes was proof that he really did feel strongly for her; had crossed her mind as well.

But that had so not been a date she thought closing her eyes tightly as she hugged a pillow to her chest (god the cliché-ness of the whole thing was killing her).

Maria's eyes opened the moment she heard her cell phone vibrating before reaching over in the darkness to see who it was calling her so late. Squinting at the lit phone's screen she sighed tossing the phone back to its spot on the night stand table. Ivan. She couldn't believe that Ivan was actually calling. Never was he the one to offer the olive branch after one of their fights, even if it was his fault (normally he would just sit depressed in his house or at the flower shop until Maria came back to him). She sat up making a face as she glanced back to the phone, she had three more vibrations to pick up the phone. On one hand she could do just that: ignore her vow to never speak to him again, and reach out in the hope that he would have her back and happily become the father to the child she was expecting yet never mentioned the pregnancy once. Or Maria could hold on to her commitment not to go back.

The phoned stopped vibrating and the screen went dark. It was as if fate had gone and made the choice for her, and it was the one she greatly preferred. Maria settled back into her pillows in an attempt to fall back asleep. There was another vibration and she turned her head to see that he had left her a message.

There was no harm in going on ahead and listening to the message. For all she knew it could be Ivan telling her how much he hated her and never wanted to see her again. Or one of his sisters had used the phone for her number just to tell her that he had died and was leaving her with a shit ton of cash. That last one was impossible, he had less cash then her without the comfort of a loaded parent to go to when times got tough… minus Ivan dying of course.

_"Uh… hello Maria…"_ the message started, _"It's been a while since we last talked so Katyusha told me that I should call you and that the two of us should meet up, yes?"_ Maria rolled her eyes. Of course he wouldn't call her of his own accord, he was way too stubborn for that sort of thing. Her guess was that his older sister (and the only sane one in his family) had urged him into doing it. Probably refusing to cook for him, or just by crying (she cried all the time), _"So I thought that the two of us could have a conversation about everything, yes? I guess call me back when you get this message."_ and he hung up without even a good-bye. He could be so awkward some—all of the time. She rolled her eyes one last time before setting her phone down to charge. There was no way in hell that Maria was going to even give the thought of calling him back a serious thought.

She rolled over onto her other side so that she didn't have to stare at the phone. As she went back to trying to fall asleep Maria pushed Ivan, and his phone call out of her head deciding to concentrate on Eli instead.

Maria sat on the couch with one of the throw pillows Francis insisted on arranging on the couch in her arms. He said that it added class to the apartment, while she felt like it was just a waste of money and made the living room less comfortable. It had been about a month since Ivan's call and her not-date with Eli. The two of them had gone out on a couple more not-dates, to places that were borderline classy enough to make their not-dates almost be considered dates. Ivan had called her more times, and she had ignored each one of them though they were growing more frequent. It was as if the guy really didn't get the hint that she didn't want to talk to him at all.

Maria had a doctor's appointment at twelve thirty so she had scheduled the say off and was waiting for Francis to get ready so that he could take her to the appointment. She was flipping through the channels trying to find something decent to watch, but weekday morning television was total shit as far as she was concerned, so she decided to settle on Jerry Springer (watching the lowest of society fight over some trashy guy was always entertaining).

When her roommate came into the living room however he did not have on a pair of designer jeans and some overly priced dress shirt (like he normally wore every day of his overly design conscious life), instead Francis had on his black and white uniform pants, a white undershirt and his white chef's jacket unbuttoned over top. "I'm afraid we have a problem Maria." He said with a little sigh pulling his hair back into a ponytail.

"What do you mean _we_ have a problem?" she said narrowing her eyes into a dissatisfied glare.

"Well the restaurant has a surprise lunch guests, so I must head in for lunch service today so that they can maintain their positive reputation."

"So how the hell am I supposed to get to my appointment?"

Francis sighed, "Call Antonio or catch the bus?" he added a little shrug.

Maria tossed the pillow across the room partially to express her anger like a small child, partially to annoy Francis and made a low groaning noise. "I swear you want this kid to have like three arms or something."

"Now, now Maria; my having to head to work has no effect on whether or not your unborn child will have three arms or not." He looked himself over in the mirror before smiling over his shoulder at her, "now you should hurry and call Antonio or you'll certainly be late, bye-bye." He added a wave before heading out the door to his car.

She rolled her eyes reaching her hand into her pocket to pull out her cell phone. Where to start? There was no way she would be able to get to her doctor's appointment if she were to take the bus. That was a ride that required a transfer and she had just missed the last bus for the next half an hour. So it looked like Antonio was the only option at this point. That was easy enough, he worked from home and spent most of his time running after the boys, plus she could play around with Feliciano a bit while in the car.

_"Hello, who is this?"_ Antonio's cheerful voice said through the phone on only the second ring.

"Don't you ever check the caller ID? Anyways, it's me. Francis bailed out on giving me a ride to the baby doctor so it looks like you get the privilege of taking me instead."

There was a pause as he processed who had called him. Maria wondered why Antonio had so much trouble remembering her voice, how many other woman would call him with the sorts of demands as she did that included Francis's name as well. _"Oh is this Maria?"_ he asked instantly becoming even more cheerful. Her reply was just a positive grunt, _"I don't know if I can, I mean I have the boys and everything, would it be OK for me to bring them along?"_

"I just need a ride man; just toss the two of them in the car and pick me up ASAP, ditch me at the office then go home and do whatever it is that you do."

_"You should know better than to through children Maria!"_ Antonio said sounding rather offended.

She just blinked, "Yeah, I know you shouldn't through kids… It's just a figure of speech. Can you get me or not?"

"_I don't think that I can, I'm sorry…"_ the usual cheerfulness gone completely from his voice.

"Right, I'll talk to you later then." Maria waited for his good bye before hanging up the phone.

There seemed to only be one option left other than canceling the appointment. Maria sighed quickly flipping through the contacts list on her phone before sighing and pressing the little green call icon when she got to Eli's name. She bit her bottom lip as the phone rang and let out a sigh of relief only to tense right back up when he answered.

_"Hey, what's up? Shouldn't you be molding young minds or something?"_ Eli said right away.

"No, I'm not working today. Okay listen, I have a _huge_ favor to ask you." She said not letting out the breath that she had was holding.

_"OK, shoot."_

"'… please?" the words just spilt from her mouth and she was certain that he couldn't understand her.

_"What?"_ there was he confirmation, _"I didn't quite catch that… all I really heard was ride and Francis… did you fuck him or something?_

"Ha ha ha. As if… he's been on my shit list for the past few weeks." She took a deep breath again before getting to the point this time careful not to let the words all spill out far too quickly, "I said I need a ride to the doctor's."

_"I am at work."_

"I kind of figured that out. Like don't you go on lunch soon or something, I just need a ride there and that's it. Francis had to head in early because some important jerk popped in without a reservation."

_"Didn't you call Antonio?"_

"I tried him already, and he said that he couldn't so I thought I'd give you a try since you said I could call you if I needed anything."

She heard Eli sigh. It was the good sort of sigh though the one that made it obvious he was thinking about what she said seriously. For as tough as Eli liked to pretend to be he really was a big softie on the inside. Maria made a mental note to not make fun of him. _"Yeah I'll do it. When do you need me to get you?"_

"ASAP. Oh my gosh thank you so much man, I really owe you one." She bounced up and down of the couch a couple of time before standing up.

_"Yeah, you sure as hell do."_

"Seriously what do you want bro? Whatever it is just tell me man."

_"I'll think about it, just be ready when I pull up or else I am leaving you."_ he said before hanging up the phone.

Maria nodded despite the fact the conversation was over and even if it wasn't there was no way that he would have seen her. She slipped her phone back into her pocket and hurried away to the bathroom to make sure that she was presentable to her coachman. With everything in check and a quick bathroom break (seeing how her bladder was starting to get to the point where it was magically full like all the time).

Once dressed and relieved Maris hurried out of the apartment and down to the street so that when Eli pulled up all she had to do was hop right in. It looked like she was going to owe him next time the two of them went out; if she had it in her ability to drive without crashing into everything, than she'd get him totally shitfaced. Or maybe she couple just pay to destroy his liver and they could chill out at her place eating piles of food. But Francis lived there and he would start up, probably even call Antonio over and then it would be the two of them teasing while Eli drank himself into oblivion. And that wouldn't even be the worst of it, with Antonio came Lovino and Feliciano; last time Maria checked getting shitfaced in front of kids wasn't exactly responsible and frowned upon by the majority of society that weren't alcoholics. That ruled out the Beilschmidt-Bonnefoy pad, so it looked like she'd have to get him drunk off of his ass at his own place.

That Maria could deal with at least if she were to hang out at Eli's Bachelor Pad, than she could just deal with Francis and Antonio's teasing on her own. She'd already been putting up with it ever since the first time her and Eli had hung out, and was practically immune (as long as they were behind closed doors).

He laughed louder than he had so far throughout the whole ride thus far and accented it with a little victory dance as he turned onto the street that the office was on.

Maria pointed up a head, "Just pull up here, I'm not sure how long it's going to take exactly. Just go grab something to eat or something like that and I'll call you when I'm done."

"Naw, I think I'll come in with you. Waiting for the appointment to start always sucks, plus I want to know what kind of outdated water stained magazines there are in this sort of place." He turned the car off and began to fish through the unused ashtray looking for enough quarters to feed the meter."

"You really don't want to do that sort of shit and you know it." Maria said looking right at the side of his head. "Trust me I can entertain myself perfectly fine."

"Nope, not changing my mind. How much is it an hour?"

"They're going to think that we're dating or something like that." Maria said her cheeks getting warm. Oh great now she was blushing, as the guy whom she had had a crush on back in high school, with whom she had just rekindled a friendship with, was insisting that he join her in the doctor's office for a checkup and ultrasound for the unborn child she was carrying by her ass of an ex(fuck-buddy)boyfriend. It was so like something from one of those terrible cliché chick flicks that Francis bitched about having to take his dates to.

Maria just wanted to bash her head on the dashboard of Eli's car, or maybe just smack her face around—honestly anything to have a scapegoat for why her face was turning to red. Fuck glass for not allowing UV light into cars!

"Are you okay?" he asked leaning into look at her after he had paid the meter.

"JUST PEACHY!" she shouted ripping the seat belt off of her and hopping out of the car like some kind of terrified crab. Maria grabbed her bag quickly before slamming the door shut and looking up at the row house that had been converted to a series of doctor's offices. "It's on the third floor."

"Can't you walk that far up?" Eli asked as the two waited for the elevator, he was ready to play around again; must have been riding that high from his victory in the car.

_Why didn't he mention my face yet?_ Maria thought before responding with a smug smile and a cocky, "Of course I can!"

"Are you sure you look like you've started to get kind of fat."

"Oh fuck you." She rolled her eyes flipping him the bird as the elevator opened up. Quickly she hopped in and attempted to have the door close before he could get on, but that did not happen, his leg was too fast and Eli had successfully managed to get on but this was without a stream of curses as the little lady at the desk to one of the first floor offices just watched with an increasingly horrified look on her face.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Calling me fat."

"Oh since when have you been such a woman!" he rolled his eyes clapping her on the back, "Seriously, I've called you a fat-ass a million times by now. And we both know you're not fucking fat."

Maria pouted for a second before instantly correcting herself, she was not the kind of person to fucking pout! "I know that it's just—it's not me you're insulting when you call me fat." She said crossing her arms, "It's the baby. And I won't let you just go around dissing my kid." To accent this point she pushed her stomach forward and pointed at the ever growing mound, it had upgraded from a bump about a month ago.

Eli just rolled his eyes stepping out into the hallway, "Which office is it?"

Maria squinted, "The one right across the hall way from the elevator." She said with a little frown, "Don't you pay attention to these sorts of things?" she said stepping into the unsettlingly clean office that smelt like it had been soaked in Fabreeze.

A woman that looked like she was nearly forty and clearly trying too hard to look like she was in her twenties sat in a chair off in the corner. Her two-year-old son was going on-and-on about something that the mother clearly couldn't care less about. She was just nodding and repeating "uh-huh", "yes", and "is that so". Sitting closer to the door were a young couple cheerfully chatting that glanced up at Maria and Eli as they came through the door. There was nothing particularly interesting about the two other than the fact that they were clean pressed and looked like they belonged on a poster from the fifties (though updated) urging young people to get married and move into a newly built suburban home assisting in making American Morals stronger than they already were. Eli had to shoot Maria a look to keep her from snickering.

He took a seat halfway between the woman and her child and the happy young couple as Maria stepped up to the desk to get the paperwork from the woman working there, getting a low-down on how long the doctor would be. She took the clipboard of paper work and took a seat next to Eli, all the while glancing over at him with a look that said "why the hell did you have to come in with me?"

As Maria stood to hand over the paper work over the woman was called back and gathered her son with her as she went. The young couple looked toward the two of them before attempting to start up a conversation with the two of them. "Is this your first child too?" the woman asked all the while holding the hand of her companion.

"Yep, very first one." Maria responded in an obviously bored tone.

"Are you nervous? I mean we've," she motioned towards her husband, "been reading so many books about parenting and stuff, yet the two of use as still so nervous about it! It's our first child too, though don't get us wrong we are still excited, aren't we honey?" she turned her head to her husband who smiled and nodded.

"Oh he's excited too?" Eli asked, "I never would have guessed."

Maria rolled her eyes and slapped her friend's chest, "Trust me I wasn't trying to get pregnant at all. I just like having sex, without a condom, you know I don't care what anyone says it's always better with all those fluids all over the place." The other two looked rather offended, and settled back into their seats wanting to end the conversation, "He's not even the father." She said motioning towards her friend.

"I'm not?" he asked looking at Maria confused. It looked like it was round three as far as playing around went.

"Don't be silly every time we fucked you wrapped your willy!" she laughed turning her head towards him.

"What are you talking about?" he half yelled before hushing himself again, "Are you telling me that you've been cheating on me?"

"How dumb are you?" she asked turning her head to face him right on, "What do you think I was doing whenever you were gone on business or when I was out late?"

"Bitch, you need to get the hell out of my house—" the nurse came out and called the now terrified young couple back to the office. Eli laughed the moment they were gone, "That was fun wasn't it."

Maria smiled, "Yeah I guess. Those too were way to clean to even have a chance of dealing with the two of us at the same time." She leaned back in the chair and rested her hands on her stomach twiddling her thumbs together, "I guess I'm not too angry that you came in here… though I still wish you wouldn't have come."

"Why not?" Eli asked keeping his voice low.

She was quiet for a moment as her face grew warm and she started to blush again. "Those two thought that we were together…"

"You know what they saw about assuming things. Who cares what they thought? Seriously they seemed to live in such a sheltered little world it's kind of amazing that they even knew how to make a baby."

"Yeah, but you know very few people bring just friends to a checkup on their pregnancy and an ultrasound. That's normally reserved for special relationships…" Maria looked at him, her voice and face far more serious than it had been all day.

"Since when have you been worried about the normal?"

"Eli why can't you just see what I am getting at?" she asked turning her head to the side, a small smile and a faraway look in her eyes.

"Maybe?"

"Well how do you feel about people thinking we're a couple."

"I kind of like it." Eli said reaching over and taking Maria's hand. He paused for a moment and gave her a smile when he turned his head to look at her, "I more than kind of like it to be perfectly honest, I really like it… and well I thought that you liked it too."

"When did you decide that you liked people thinking that we were a couple?"

"Just when those too assumed that we were a happy married couple on a doctor's visit together to check up on how you were doing and the child that we were expecting together was doing." He smiled, "So do you want to go ahead and make it official, that we are a couple—and not just a couple of just friends."

Maria sighed, the blush in her cheeks were pretty much on fire. She tossed the thought around in her mind a bit. Sure her whole goal was to be awesome and do this whole raising a baby thing on her own, but on the other hand this was Eli Herdervary here asking her to be his girlfriend. It was like all of her penned up hormonally driven teenage dreams were coming true. She would be a fool not to say yes. "That doesn't sound half bad. Just as long as we keep things the way there are now. You know just having fun none of that mushy stuff. The only thing that's changing is that we can fuck now, okay."

"I like fucking." He said with his smile getting larger, "and I like talking with you like you're just one of the guys."

"So you agree?"

"Yeah, I agree."

Maria turned so that the two could shake on it, "So it's officially we've escalated this bromance into a romance."

"How was it bromance if you don't have a dick?"

"You should know by now I am packing five meters of delicious, thick, juicy man meat baby."

"How the hell is that even physically possible?"

"Maria Beilschmidt," the nurse called from the door. Maria cursed mentally, she couldn't stand this bitch. What with his blonde bob, green eyes, sassy attitude and need for her first to rearrange his face; there was always that look he would give her whenever she was in the office. And somehow Maria always wound up with the bitch, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Now, what was with that look he was giving—"ELI!" he shouted, "OMG, like what the hell are you doing here? Don't tell me you're the baby-daddy." He giggled, yep male the nurse in the pastel pink scrubs just giggled, honestly Maria couldn't say she was shocked by the giggling; the knowing Eli on the other hand…

"I'm with Maria." Her now boyfriend who she supposed she must have really been dating, and not so-not-dating said beaming. She guessed that this man now popping gum (since when did he have gum to pop?) was his friend, "So this is the office that you're working at huh? I got to say I am kind of surprised."

"This is just temporary; once I get my full degree in nuclear engineering I am so like totally gonna quit this bitch. So how long have you been with Maria?" he asked leading them to the scale.

"Two seconds before you came out into the office to claim her," Eli smiled.

"Oh that's good so this isn't your kid."

"Feliks…"

"You know I'm joking!" he turned to Maria, "Could you just step right up here then with your back along the wall?" there was a moment of checking what the digital piece said, "Oh wow you went up, ten pounds since the last visit." He clicked his tongue without saying anything else, though she knew he was mentally playing some kind of snide one line normally reserved only for high school cheerleaders in his head.

"There is a something growing inside of me—aren't I supposed to gain weight."

"Well yeah." He said rolling his eyes, "let's just get you into a room and do a quick look at all the other junk I need to cover before the ultrasound technician gets to deal with all of you."

"That's all I ask of you Feliks." She responded as they went into the small room.

"So you two have been going out since right before you came back here." Feliks laughed wrapping the blood pressure cuff around Maria's arm, all the while talking just to Eli, "I swear man you have the weirdest ideas for what's romantic. I'll have to tweet that one later." He began to pump the air, "So how long have you known each other and stuff?"

"Since forever man," Eli responded not noticing how the nurse man was avoiding her name, "She's Rue's cousin, but I've known Maria longer than I knew Rue… it just never really clicked between the two of us until just now I guess."

"That sounds about right." Maria said relieved that that air was being released from the pouch around her arm.

The nurse took down the information then went about the rest of the tasks. All while happily chatting away, ignoring his patient beyond what he had to do. Maria took this time to read the various charts located about the room. She was halfway through the one about the correct amount of weight gain when Feliks mentioning it was time for him to get going but he would so be waiting for Eli to text him later on. She waited until he was gone and the door safely shut before she looked over at her now boyfriend.

"I don't like him." She said right out the gate.

"Oh, how come? Feliks is loads of fun." Eli actually seemed shocked to hear that it was possible for anyone not to like the effeminate man nurse.

"I don't like the way that he looks at me."

"He looks at everyone like that. Really he's great once you get to know him, but that takes a while since he's super shy."

"He's shy?"

"Yeah, trust me, he's a big softie and really chill once you get to know him. The name calling, weird comments, and the way he eyes people is just a part of the wall that he's built up to defend himself. As you can imagine people are kind of mean to him."

"Hasn't he ever heard of the golden rule. You know that's like the very first thing they teach you in kindergarten."

"Trust me once you hang out with him, Feliks is a total bro." he reached over for her hand and gave it a squeeze. There Eli was already using that trick to toy with her emotions, and it had been what ten minutes. She had half a mind to go ahead and tell him off, but that warm hand of his holding hers gently like she had imagined it would feel for so long, was enough to make her blush. And she was already fighting the blush off like a ferocious mad woman.

"Okay, fine." She managed to get out concentrating fully on keeping her blood from making its way back to her cheeks.

The two quietly sat there making comments about the posters for a few minutes until the ultrasound technician made his way into the room. A small man with a childish looking face and a wide smile on his lips, "Hello Maria," he extended his hand, "I'm Tino, so how about we get right down to business and take a look at what's going on okay?" he motioned towards the bed for her to get on while he started up the machine and went about getting everything ready to go.

Yes this guy was just as chatty as Feliks was but something about him was way less annoying. As Eli went to helping her up, Maria mouthed to him _I like this guy way better._ and he mouthed back, _Feliks is still my friend._ to which she responded by sticking her tongue out at him.

"Alright so are you all comfy and cozy?" he asked turning to face the two, both of which had their tongues sticking out at one another, and quickly put back into their mouths when they noticed the friendly little man looking at them. "Okay then I think you are. Maria could you please lift up your shirt and slide down your pants, not all the way at all just so that they're out of the way."

"Yeah sure." She nodded pulling the clothes out of the way and tucking them in as best as she could to keep the out of the way.

"Alright than, that looks good." He nodded a bit to accent his point, "Now I am going to put this gel on you, and it's kind of cold so don't freak out too much." With that Tino squeezed what looked like a clear restaurant ketchup bottle filled with the blue gel they put in freezer packs all over the mound of growing baby on Maria's lower abdomen. She tensed up a bit despite being warned it would be cold causing Eli to laugh. The technician laughed a little bit as well using the head of the ultrasound wand to rub the stuff around, instantly warming it up. "I told you it would be a little cold right?"

"Yeah I just guess I wasn't exactly paying attention." She said with a shrug.

"You've got a problem when it comes to that don't you babe?" Eli added.

"I don't really need your commentary right now. You've already been weird enough today man."

"I could have just ignored you in your time of need. I think I've earned the right to be a little weird today."

"Okay then…" Tino said trying to steer the conversation from what could have possibly been the start of an argument between the two of them. He hadn't even been working this job for a year yet, and already he had seen so many different things. There had been tears, yelling matches, threats on lives, and a whole bunch of other crazy things that had taken place in the little room. Whenever he could he tries to steer things away from arguments as best as he could, "everything is looking good."

He smiled moving the wand over her body and inspecting the screen as he went pausing in spots, "There is the head." He waited as he paused over the spot. And the two looked at the screen. Whatever Maria was feeling earlier had completely melted away. It was hard to explain what exactly she was feeling but there was a sort or heavy warmth that had settled somewhere in her chest near her heart, and there were no words in her vocabulary that came to mind what to call it. There was something just so special about seeing her child on the screen.

The man went on, "We've got a leg here, and an arm there… and it looks like the baby is in a good position to tell the sex if you want to find out."

"You should do it." Eli piped up cheerfully.

Maria nodded, that was what she had been planning to do from the start, but she couldn't even really speak still focusing on the fact that she was looking at her kid. She found herself nodding again, wanting to know what pronoun she should be using when referring to the unborn child. Calling the baby-to-be "it" didn't feel quite right, "Yeah," she started, that warm feeling spreading throughout her body as she was about to find out what the sex was, "I want to know." Her eyes were still focused on the screen.

Tino moved the magic science wand into place and with his voice ever cheerful declared, "It's a boy!"

**AN** fun fact this chapter is 6,126 words and 32,460 characters long.


	5. Chapter 5

Maria propped her feet up on the coffee table in Eli's living room. It had been nearly a month since the appointment when she found out the growing baby inside of her was a boy, and Eli had gone ahead and asked her to be his girlfriend; and with her being pregnant the two had decided the best place to hang out was his apartment. It cut back on the costs (and dirty looks) that hanging out in bars required, classy restaurants were just neither one's style, and Maria's place came with Francis' antics when he got off of work or Antonio's surprise visit (which included small children and would ruin any sort of _mood_ they'd managed to build.

Chilling out at Eli's place was rather comfortable too. They could just sit and talk, Maria could put her feet on the furniture without getting yelled at, there were no fancy throw pillows, nor a dining room table so there was no reason to not sit on his big comfy second hand couch and watch trashy television. The decor its self was nice and minimal; reminding her that real men existed, men that weren't into making their apartments look like something out of the pages of some magazine. And increasingly she found herself sharing his bed rather than heading back to her own place. Maybe as a middle school teacher she shouldn't be pregnant and having adult sleep overs with a man that wasn't her baby-daddy (though he was so totally the ex-husband of her first cousin).

Eli came into the living room from the kitchenette with two plates piled high with the Chinese delivery they had ordered. He handed her plate over and Maria let it rest on her growing abdominal bump (the unborn baby really had its perks: not only could it operate as a mini table, but she could stuff her face in public, act like a bitch, get free stuff, and people were nicer to her as long as she wasn't hanging out in dive bars). "I really need to get me one of those." Eli said glancing over at her as he took a seat on the floor between the couch and the coffee table.

Maria gave him one of her signature smirks, "Well if you don't mind taking me back to my place to grab a couple of things, I have a huge purple dick I could fuck you with. Maybe my raw power, and baby-batter could travel through that and give you an ass baby."

"Yeah, how about no. The thought of pushing a bowling ball through my anus is more than a bit horrifying." he winced a bit for effect.

"You never know. I've seen some amazing things go into asses before... and what goes in must come out."

He shot her an absolutely disgusted look, "Let's not discuss the mechanics of such things when we're eating... _please_."

"Pussy," she muttered under her breath before slurping down a greasy noodle. The relationship with Eli was the first real normal one she had ever been in. And despite it being all sentimental and shit, Maria had to admit it was going better than any of the wild ones she had had in the past. It was nice to just be able to sit around and be her usual brotastic self with a guy, have mutual attraction to one another, and not wonder what the hell was coming next. With Ivan things were never like this. It was always fighting and angry sex. She thought that that sort of thing would be enough for her but, having the _real thing_ with Eli, was just so... wonderful... _fuck these hormones are making me into a girl. _She thought diving farther into her food.

"So... how was your day?" Eli asked raising and eyebrow. The room had been far too quiet for his tastes with just the television on.

"OK I guess," she started, "what are you though, my wife?"

"Ha, no. Just thought we needed to talk or something. With a mouth your size it's too weird when it's shut."

"I can do more than just talk with this mouth baby." she wiggled her eyebrows to emphasize her suggestive tone.

"You know, you shouldn't try to be sexual while lounging on a couch with a dish of food resting on your stomach and your feet on the table like that. You're one Coors Light t-shirt away from looking like you belong in a trailer park."

"Don't be such a classicist dick wad, there are plenty of hot ass working class girls out there."

"Says the trust fund baby that's only working because her father told her if she doesn't have an honest job for a few years he's not giving her jack shit."

"Better than your ex-wife," Maria said crossing her arms, "Even if she wasn't famous and talented she'd still be rolling in cash. I bet you wish that she didn't make you sign that pre-nup, huh?"

"Life isn't all about money my dear! It's just a matter of parenting methods, you know. Your uncle was a rich guy, pretty spoiled, and as his former son-in-law, I can say with the utmost honesty a total douche-bag. Your dad may be strict as hell, which to this day confuses the hell out of me how you're the way you are..." he paused for effect complete with a little sigh, "Anyways, you weren't spoiled and all that stuff, so no one would ever guess your upbringing."

Maria half tossed her now empty plate onto the coffee table and laid down across the couch so that her face was on the same level as his. At that instant she had never wanted to kiss anyone more then she wanted to kiss Eli. But acting on that urge would mean she would have to take the steps necessary to be all mushy, and that so wasn't her style. _Why couldn't he have been the one to knock me up?_ she thought before poking him hard in the arm to salvage her dignity.

"What was that for?" he asked rubbing the sore spot raising his eye brow.

"Lighten the mood up a bit," she said with a sly little grin, "you were getting way too serious, so I thought that we needed a change in direction."

"So you went with the violent option."

"I could beat your ass, but I figured that would give you such a raging boner that you wouldn't even be able to contain your load long enough for me to get off. And you should know how I feel about that!"

He just rolled his eyes and stood up to throwaway the paper plates they had eaten on. She sighed a little bit rolling over to glance at the ceiling for a moment, stretching her arms up before letting her hands rest over her eyes until Eli returned nudging her to sit up and give him a bit of space on the couch. Once he was settled into place Maria slipped her legs over his lap, and in the overly sentimental fashion that she was starting to find a bit of reluctant comfort in, Eli kissed her on the lips and rubbed circles into the small of her back.

"Are you going to spend the night?" he asked adjusting her legs so that they were across his lap in the most comfortable, for him, way possible.

She made a low voice in the back of her throat placing her signature smirk on her lips, "That all depends..." she wiggled her eyebrows for effect.

"Oh it does, does it?" he pressed a finger to his chin as if he were in deep thought, "On what exactly?"

Maria twisted her knees slightly away from his body and pulled her torso towards them as much as the growing bump on her abdomen would allow, "I think you know, what I have in mind. What, with all these crazy ass hormones and shit?"

He paused for a moment thinking playfully before his face changed to a more serious expression. "I don't know about that Maria."

"What do you mean you don't know about that? We've never done it Eli- I need to know what you can do before I can make a total commitment to this relationship."

It was true. Despite the fact that Eli was her boyfriend of nearly a month, he was stable too, and way more loving then Ivan ever said. It had been even longer than that since she had had any sort of sexual contact with someone that wasn't her right hand or an artificial reproductive organ. It had been an okay time, just her and her toys, but she had to admit that she was craving sometime with the real thing.

"Yeah, I know, I know." he sighed turning to look at her and placed a warm hand on her cheek. "I just... I just can't help but think that there is a baby inside of you, and he's not mine. How would you like it if some strange man's dick came all up in your zone."

"Like your dick could make it all the way up to my sacred womb," she rolled her eyes half whining. "Come on Eli I want you to put it in me!"

"I don't have any condoms."

"You're the only man who wants them! Isn't it my job to talk you into wrapping your silly old willy!

"You know what I was saying about having a dick invade your personal space? Well how would your like some baby-batter getting all up on you too?"

"I don't get the point as to why you would have to wear one; I'm already knocked up and I'm pretty sure that we're both clean, so why would we need condoms for?"

"You know with that sort of attitude I can see how exactly you wound up with this little-unexpected-bundle-of-joy-about-to-be." he gave a final sigh of defeat before clicking his television off and pressing his lips to hers with far more passion then any kiss he had yet to give her. She smiled into his lips lifting her arms up to wrap them around his shoulders before her cell phone so rudely interrupted them.

"Are you going to get that?" Eli asked his lips just barely grazing her cheek.

"Do I have to? I was just about to get laid."

"It could be an emergency..." he lifted the phone up glancing at the screen that displayed 'Francis' in bright blue letters on a dark screen, "It's your roommate."

Maria groaned, everything with Francis was an emergency, meaning that there was really no such thing as emergency with the man. She rolled her eyes holding her hand out so that he could pass over the phone, "What the fuck do you want?" she hissed into the phone the, _I was about to get my groove on_ went unsaid but she deeply hoped that he fully understood that's what was going by her tone.

_"I can hear that I'm interrupting something... so I will be quick."_, Francis spoke quickly through the phone, _"You have a guest over here... and his name is Ivan."_

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" She swung her feet over onto the floor and stood up running her free hand through her long white hair. Ivan had turned up looking for her, great, that sort of thing never meant anything good. Though Maria had to assume she was asking for it not turning back up after their fights and not answering any of his calls. "How fucking awesome."

Eli sat on the couch starring at her with his mouth open.

_"To make matters even worse he is currently standing in the hall way watching the door. You see he wants to have a conversation with you and refuses to believe that you are not home."_ Francis sounded on the nervous side. It was awkward when she thought about it, he normally was a bit more found of Ivan though he was quick to admit that the relationship between Maria and the large Russian man was most unhealthy.

"Call the fucking cops on him," she sighed, that wasn't going to happen. Ivan may have just been a florist but no one called the cops on him. She started gathering her stuff together and shot Eli a longing look before slipping the phone in to the nook of her neck, "Sorry Eli I need a ride back home man- it looks like I need to get into a fist fight. Francis was going on about something in his signature over dramatic fashion. Her man gave her a solemn nod before standing up.

"Okay, whatever man. Give me a few minutes I'm on my way back." Maria knew that Francis had to know he was ruining her first time having sex in months now. And if he didn't she was sure as hell going to make sure that he knew the moment that she got back.

"So fist fight?" Eli asked raising an eye brow as he made his way to the door.

"Yep," she nodded, "looks like my baby daddy is trying to find me.


	6. Chapter 6

"To what do we owe the pleasure of this baby-daddy alert?" Eli asked, as he and Maria got into his car.

"I've been ignoring him for a month or so now; so I guess that's what he's pissed about. Haven't seen him or spoken to him since our last fight, and normally by now I would be back over at his place riding him into his bed."

"That sounds like such a lovely mental image. Why don't you tell me, you know your current boyfriend, about your sex life with your former boyfriend."

"Maybe if you would just plow me you could get some of this!" Maria said grabbing a hold of her crotch in a raunchy fashion, complete with a foul look on her face, "Come on you know you want it."

"Not as badly as Francis probably wants your ex out of the hallway."

"Right so I'll go fuck him up, then fuck you right?" she laughed.

"Do you have to be so vulgar , you're going to be a mother soon."

"I thought you were a decent enough guy to not try and change me. Looks like I was wrong." Maria crossed her arms and propped her feet up on the dashboard. He gave her a quick swat on the thigh closest to him, "So what do you want to talk about then? It's a bit of a car ride and you know how I feel about silences?"

"How about we talk about this ex of yours?" Eli suggested swatting her leg again in hopes she would take the hint that he wanted her feet of the dashboard.

"I thought you didn't want to know about our sex life."

"Then I will be more specific, why have you been avoiding him?"

"I'm pregnant. Call me all sorts of foul things, and I'll own up to them, but even I know that you can't raise a baby in a toxic environment, I reckon it's part of the reason why Rue is such a fucking mess, anyways I figured I would ditch him and do the child rearing thing on my own. He doesn't even make as much money as me, and I know my dad won't let and baby and I starve or get put out on the streets. And for as much of a slut Francis is he's got real compassion in him—I've also got Antonio. So that's plenty of back up as far as I am concerned."

"And you never told your ex about the baby?"

"Course not. He likes kids and would want it. That would just fuck up my plans—" Eli slammed on the breaks rather hard causing the driver behind him to slam his fist into the horn. "FUCK IT! WHAT WAS THAT?"

He pulled over and starred over at Maria a look of horror, anger, and confusion, "HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DO THAT TO HIM?"

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"You can't carry a man's child, know who the man is, and never inform him of that fact. It's not decent. If I were—if Rue were to… Maria a man has a right to know these things."

"And don't I have the right not to tell him. You know the whole freedom of speech shit applies to not telling people stuff too." She raised her voice uncrossing her arms and letting her feet down to turn and face him. "Whatever he's going to fucking know now."

"It's the principle of the matter Maria. I would want to know if I were to have a gotten a woman pregnant. I would want to know I was going be a father."

"Well if you care so much about the damn principle then make me walk."

Eli put the car back into drive, "I can't kick you out. With your albinism, you're already practically blind, toss in the fact that it's dark, and you'll end up wandering into traffic and die killing both you and the baby. I would feel like shit, and you'd still get off easy not ever telling the man about his child."

Maria crossed her arms, "He's going to want in no matter what. And I don't want him in."

"Well you'll have to deal with that yourself." He pulled in front of her building, "I'm going to let you out now and I'm leaving. Sort this all out with him, then call me."

"I don't want to."

Eli was silent and opened the doors of the car before looking over at her sternly. She took the hint and got out of the car, "Well if you want this to work out, between you and I…" he started right before she closed the door, "We're on hiatus until you work things out with him. Now don't forget your bag."

The moment Maria picked it up and closed the door, Eli drove off. She stood there on the street starring after him for a moment, before shouting, "OH FUCK ME!"

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"Francis~" the large man known as Ivan Braginsky half cooed, half sang through the door of the apartment where the French man was holed up. His ear was pressed to the door as he pawed at the wood, a disturbingly wide grin across his face. "I know you know where she is. I haven't seen Maria in months, and she's been ignoring me… but I know she won't ignore you."

i"I've called her mon ami!/i Francis answered back through the door, i"There is nothing else that I can possibly do!"/i

"Oh have you? Well then you will be polite and let me wait for her in there right?"

i"I think the hallway works so much better for you!"/i

"That's not very good hospitality—"

"Oi! Ivan the fuck are you doing harassing my roommate?" Maria shouted down the hallway. She was starting at the top of the stairs with her bag over her front, attempting to hide the pregnancy as best as she could. There was no reason to expose the rounded stomach to the man right away. "How about you bounce, because right now I don't want to look at your fucking face, and that big fucking ugly nose of yours."

"Oh, Maria," Ivan turned away from the door just as Francis called out a thank you to god, "Where on earth have you been. I've tried calling you. Katya said you would like it if I called you. Natasha told me not to, but Natasha has never liked any of my girlfriends."

"Lovely. Well I really don't want to talk to you now, or ever."

"Why not?" He stood up straight his hands folded across his front in a relaxed manner, "I thought we were together?"

"Just that, we iwere/i together. It's past tense moron." She closed the space between them.

"Oh let me try that again. You know sometimes I mess up my English… then the right way to say it would be 'we iare/i together'."

"OK there is a flaw in that logic, because I just stated that I we iwere/i and for us to be together in the present tense I have to want to be with you and I don't. I'm with someone else now… or well I was with him and will be with him again once this bullshit with you is over."

Ivan just stared at her silent, as if he was trying to digest all that she said. It was a signature look for him, an innocent blank stare. It drove Maria absolutely mad sometimes and she wanted nothing more than to knock it off of his face with her fist. The same with that stupid grin he would get across his face… the one he was currently wearing.

"Fuck it," Maria dropped her bag on the floor smiling over at Ivan, "Here's the big reveal. I'm pregnant Ivan."

He just watched her quietly saying nothing, that look of confusion across in his eyes and that stupid smile across his face. She fought back the urge to deck him. And then came his answer and that desired grew: "How?"

"Are you fucking kidding? Shit Ivan you put your dick in my pussy, came and then bam fucking conception and shit. Didn't your dick of a dad ever explain babies to you?"

"Katya always told me that babies were delivered by fairies in the night. And if you were bad the fairies would take you back—but that would just be silly what would fairies want with bad children?"

"You've got to be kidding me." Maria muttered under her breath.

"Of course I am." He laughed, "I'm a grown man Maria I know where babies come from—"

"Thank God I was terrified you were completely fucking hopeless there for a moment?"

"But I'm glad I've always wanted a child. It's mine right? Well how far along are you? What will we name it? Oh! Are we having a boy or a girl? When will you move back in?"

"OK so where to start… how about I just give you answers from the top. Number one: yes; number two: about 5 months; number three: no idea; the fourth one is, a boy; and the last one's never. I am finished with you Ivan."

"How can you be? You're having my baby."

"Just because I am having a child doesn't mean that I want to be with you. I just figured you needed to know that shit and all. And don't start shit with me, you make like no money, and are crazy; plus you know women have a shit ton more rights when it comes to babies and junk then men do."

Ivan walked up to her closing the few feet of distance between the two of them before looking down at her right in her eyes. She stared right back into his eyes. She was nervous but fuck all if she was going to let him know that. "Don't think this is over Maria. I can and will—"

"—What fucking crush me? If you say that then as a Russian you must know how fucking typical and expected that line is from you. And I for one would be most ashamed."

"No," Ivan smiled at her, "Get you back. You always come back to me Maria. You're too much of a mess for anyone else to ever want you. And you need someone just as messed up as you. You'll come around, I know it." He stepped around her and made his way down the hall, "Bye bye, when I see you again, I would like for you to have a few names picked out. Personally I've always wanted a son named Boris." And with that he made his leave.

Maria stood silent and unmoving until the door to the front of the building had shut behind him. She let out a shaky breath she had been holding in her lungs before picking up her bag and making her way to the door of her apartment.

"Is he gone?" Francis said, opening it for her before she even had a chance to try fishing out her key. She nodded still quiet letting Ivan's words sink into her good, and deep, "thank goodness. Sorry I had to interrupt your night with Eli." He shut the door as Maria made herself to the couch and lowered herself on to it. "I didn't know he knew where we lived…" he fell quiet rounding the couch and getting a good look at his roommate and best friend, "… Maria are you all right?"

"Of course I am." She said, attempting to keep the fight in her voice.

"Are you quite certain, because right now I am looking at you… and well… you're crying?"

"Am I?" she sniffled pressing her finger tips to just below her eyes, "Oh, fucking a! You're right I am. Fuck this." She stood up to leave and was stopped by Francis having caught a hold of her hand.

"What is it?" he settled into the couch next to her crossing his legs. She resisted the urge to make a comment about how gay that was, "Tell me."

"I'll have to cut it off with Eli," she started crying even harder, "He told me he didn't want me until I settled matters with Ivan!" she was sobbing now, "and Ivan's right Francis! I am a fuck up. He's a fuck up too so we're meant for each other, two fucked up fuck ups we can have a fucked up baby and be the fucked up family!"

The Frenchman wrapped his arms around her body holding her tight in a hug. It was the sort of hug he'd given her only three times before, when she had had her first break up in high school, when she had told him she was pregnant, and when Rue had rubbed it in her face that she and Eli were going to be getting married.

"Just let it all out" he whispered holding her tight, "I'm here for you, now just let it all out."

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bAN/b I hope I have written something to make up for how long I was gone for! And look some emotion from Maria and a bit of affection from Francis. Really thank you for your comments they were lovely motivators! I only hope that the hiatus due to my terrible writer's block didn't leave you all too disappointed to come back, and that well this was worth the wait. Lots of love guys!


	7. Chapter 7

Maria continued to wipe her eyes with a clumped up piece of toilet paper (as if she were the sort of person to actually have tissues on hand) after Francis left her room. She felt so pathetic laying there curled up on her side, eyes bright red and stinging from all the crying. Francis had done his very best to cheer her up; her roommate had spent the last two and a half hours rubbing her back and telling her things would be alright in the end. But she had to admit that his words were not enough to quiet her fears.

Ivan was an ice burg of crazy, the majority of people could only see the tip of his insanity (by judging his cover of being a perpetually smiling over-sized child); Maria though had swam in the frigid water around him and knew just how big that crazy got when you dove under the surface. But she could be just as crazy as he was too. Most of the time she was the one to initiate their fist fights and bouts of rage; but he knew just what to do and say to set her off (though to be fair she did the same things to him often enough). It was a mutually destructive relationship.

With Eli though, Maria could be herself. She could go back to how she was in high school, and he could do the same thing. They two of them shared a certain since of immaturity, though the healthy kind (Ivan's was the sort that a kid plucking each leg slowly off of a spider or one who chopped worms in half had). Eli knew what her buttons were, and while he did press them from time to time to see her reaction her still knew when to stop and what to say to make it better. Maria had thought she knew everything that drove him insane but earlier on in the night she had learned one more thing. And with the way he seemed so disgusted over the fact that she did not want to tell Ivan about the baby, it was almost as if she did not feel nearly good enough for him.

Eli was an honest and decent guy, even if he had married her she-beast of a cousin. He was the sort of person she wished that she was carrying the child of. Not a man who had never really grown up, who was over sized, unnecessarily cruel (though in his defense she had never been able to tell if his cruelty was intentional or not), and intimidated others into doing what he wished. In the end though it was that man she now hated and had only been with for the sole purpose of seriously mind-blowing sex that was the father of her child. And he wanted her back.

Maria rolled over in her bed grabbing another pillow that wasn't wet with tears, salvia, and snot holding it close to her body. What were her options?

Ivan would surely come back for her. She could cut things off with him but he would find her again. And he had seemed so excited about being a father (she really did hope he'd be the sort of scum bag to run off and pretend to never have slept with her). And he wanted to name the baby boy Boris. That was a pretty terrible name as far as she was concerned and another reason for her to not make it work with him. Even if the relationship between the two of them was an unhealthy and toxic environment for them as adults; let alone a poor innocent baby that had done nothing wrong.

Maria still had her father available. Ivan had never met the man and had no idea where he lived. She knew her father was disappointed in her; he never would want his only child to end up as a single mother. But she also knew that no matter how disappointed her father was or how strict he seemed, he would never turn her away, especially, in a time of need when she was carrying his grandson. If worst came to worst she could quit her job teaching, and kick it old school living off of her inheritance on her father's property in the country side. Well minus being a single mother (though she could make up a story that his father died in the war before he was even born only to tell him the truth and ruin his childhood memories when he was eighteen).

There was still her third choice. To not give into Ivan and not runaway; just tell the oversized Russian child that she did not want to be with him. She could stand her ground let him know what exactly she thought of him and inform him she did not want him in the kid's life. If he wanted to take her to court he sure as hell could try, but she knew the kind of money he had in his bank account (next to nothing), so a good lawyer could be hard to get (and she could hope for one of those crazy old fart judges that instantly hated anyone from Eastern Europe because of commies and shit).

Maria's third choice seemed like the best one. It was the one that she could look at herself in the mirror the easiest with. But it didn't change the fact that Ivan's word earlier really stung. No matter what she had to admit to herself that Eli seemed to be just too good for her. She'd grown up her whole life being teased and picked on for her appearance. Sure she could pretend that the words of her classmates didn't get to her, that she was stronger than all of that. But, years and years of hearing it over and over again was enough to get to her. She had dated a guy with was just as fucked up from years of peer tormenting; and she had been with him not out of love but her own self-gratification.

And Eli, he just seemed so perfect and balanced. His only teasing in school had come from Antonio, Francis, and her. It was all in good light hearted fun though. After all they teased everyone and there was no malice in it. He had been in a marriage to the she-demon Rue, and that had to be built off of something other than raw passionate wild sex all over their way too big house (Antonio had told her things she never really wanted to know ever). It just wasn't fair no matter how Maria looked at it.

And oh did Maria want Eli for it. She wanted to be in a normal functional relationship, with the sort of man who made her feel well, normal. She wanted happiness. And most of all in probably the least selfish feeling she had ever had in her life, she wanted for the child she was carrying to have a father-son bond with a man that she felt was decent enough for the task. And it seemed as though Eli was the perfect one for that duty.

The first thing Maria heard when she woke up was the blasting of her alarm clock at six. She rolled over and slapped the machine off. She stripped her clothes off and tossed the clothing off into the hamper in the corner before making her way naked to the bathroom. She scrunched up her nose catching a glance of her red-rimmed eyes, complete with a lovely layer of crust from crying, her swollen stomach, and the network of stretch marks that were spreading over the bulge. Francis had bought her some sort of cream to fight off the scaring, and she was starting to regret tossing it somewhere months ago (she'd have to dig around for it).

Turning to face the mirror she wiped away the eye crust flicking it off her fingers into the great unknown behind the toilet. With the eye crust gone she squinted better able to examine her face and figure (curse her god awful eyesight) wrapping her arms around her belly in the sort of way she'd seen pregnant women cradle their wombs in various magazines. Maria gave her blurry reflection a bit of a grin before sticking her tongue out in fake disgust, grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste (brushing her teeth in the shower was always her favorite way to shave time off of getting ready in the morning), before hoping into the shower.

Once she was bathed, with a squeaky clean mouth and body, she wrapped up in a towel before catching a whiff of something delicious. Maria decided she could hold off on getting dressed because whatever Francis was cooking she needed it in her body ASAP.

"What are you cooking babe?" she asked poking her head into the kitchen. The movement of Francis jumping in surprise was not wasted and she chuckled.

"Breakfast. You were so distraught last night I thought the least I could do was make you a delicious meal. I would like to remind you I am up entirely too early for it to be good for my complexion." He flipped whatever he was making over in the frying pan. He turned his head to look at her and scrunched his nose up in disgust, "And yours looks terrible! I would lend you some cover up but I'm afraid it's not nearly light enough."

"Oh fuck you. I'm GOREGOUS!" Maria half hissed making her way closer to him to peak over his shoulder, "Ohhh pancakes. Francis let's get married, you know everything to make me happy."

"_Mon dieu_! I will not have Ivan breaking down my door again."

"Oh come on. We can run off together and he'll never find us."

"Isn't Eli your knight in shining armor anyways?" Francis asked raising an eyebrow before sliding a pancake nearly effortlessly onto a plate. Quickly he slathered it in fresh butter so that it could melt before starting the next. It was a process that took a little more than half a minute to complete, and Maria remained silent the whole time. He let out a sigh as the hot cake began to cook before turning and fixing his roommate with a concerned look. "Have you spoken to him yet?"

"No," she pouted a bit in a way that was entirely too childish for a mother-to-be, "I just, I just don't know what to say, plus he was pretty pissed at me last night for you know not having told Ivan about the baby."

"I'm sure he'll understand."

"Yeah I'm sure he will too but there is just something about it that feels so weird, and what that over-sized dick-wad said is kind of true. I'm pretty dysfunctional you know? And if he wants in on the kid's life then I am going to have to let him in."

"As much as it pains me to say this, no you don't."

"How does that pain you exactly?"

Francis fixed her with a look over his shoulder as he finished up with the last pancake and turned the stove off. "Women pretty much control the shots when it comes to children. Whatever a woman wants is what goes pretty much."

"Yeah only you don't have kids, which by the way is still a total shocker!"

He was busy not cutting up some strawberries, "Doesn't mean I haven't had scares. And as much as this may shock you to hear, I would honestly not mind doing the whole fatherly thing all that much. Sure it means I would have to give up my life-style of constant dating; but I am getting kind of old at this point and I would love to be a PILF—"

"'PILF'?"

"'Papa I'd Like to Fuck'—" he said it easily and Maria made a face of slight disgust, "Anyways the fact of the matter is that I am not a very good guy and I know that any of those girls I have had my scares with could decide to not let me see the child or children if she wanted to. And you've got the money to set it in stone."

"I thought about that last night. But what if kiddo wanted to know Ivan? He's a total bag of douche and all, but somehow I get the feeling when it comes to a child he would be able to control his high levels of dickery." she leaned on the counter trying to decide to tempt fate by snatching a berry or not.

"Court rulings can be changed. I really wish you would figure out what to name the poor boy though. Always calling him 'kiddo' is getting exhausting to listen to!"

"Fine then I will call him 'Boris'." The two of them waited only a moment before they cracked up laughing.

"That's probably not the best thing to go with if it makes us cackle. Why don't you borrow a naming book, or buy one; Toni can come over this weekend and the two of you can go digging for baby names. It could be fun. Plus you'll get to see little Feliciano again."

Maria practically started gushing, "He's just so darn cute, even with all of that drool everywhere! But mine is gonna be way cuter, I promise!"

"You can't promise that sort of thing."

"Yes I can. I'm awesome with awesome genes and junk."

Francis just shook his head and handed Maria over her plate of pancakes covered in fresh berries, "now go to the table and eat your food before I decide to make you get dressed first!"

Maria sighed propping her body up against the frame of the door outside of her classroom. It was the end of the day and she was waiting for the appropriate time to head out to the bus stop. Ivan had been calling her phone the whole day and leaving messages that Maria would delete the moment that her students left the classroom. She had been told off by the administration for texting during class way too many times.

She was dreading picking up a call from him or even worse having him show up at her apartment again. Mostly though Maria was hoping she would be strong enough to hold her own against him this time and not at all back down from the man. She still needed to go ahead and contact Eli. Sure she hadn't actually resolved things with Ivan, but she did go ahead and tell him that he was going to be a father in the biological sense. That did seem like what he was the most concerned about.

"When are you leaving for maternity?" Maria's attention snapped back to reality by the thick accent of the Chinese orchestra teacher, Yao, who was standing in the doorway of his own classroom.

"When are you going to stop sucking?" She snapped at him. The administration had also told her off for creating a hostile working environment. She had been tempted to yell at the principal that she fully had it in her power to really make a 'hostile working environment', but she did have the common sense to not do it.

"Me sucking?" Yao gave a shallow little chuckle, "When was the last time that any of your classes won an award? Need I remind you I am taking my advanced class to a states for the fourth year in a row."

"And how many of those did you win?" she muttered under her voice, "Anyways why should it matter to you when I am leaving for maternity."

"I have my reasons."

"Well I have my reasons for not telling you." She crossed her arms and retreated back to her classroom. Yao went back into his own classroom as well.

Maria sighed sitting down in one of the plastic chairs and propped her feet up onto the one in front of her. She fished her cellphone out of her bra and opened up one of the stupid apps she had downloaded to eat up her time while she rode the bus home. The door to the classroom opened up. Without looking up from her phone she snapped, "Yao why don't you go back to the _Dork-estra _room?"

What she got instead the male Chinese accented voice she was expecting, was feminine an Eastern European accent. "I'm not Yao."

She snapped her head up with such force that there was mild dizziness and a quick little snap in her neck. The voice wasn't instant recognition, and due to her shit-tastic eye sight Maria couldn't make out the face. She could however make out the shape of the woman's body, and those tits. She knew _those tits_ anywhere. "KATYA! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

The woman just walked closer to her until her face came into better focus. She stopped adjusting the strap of her purse, "Ivan called me last night,"? she stepped close, "He told me you were pregnant, and that that's why you've been avoiding him"

"Yeah, and?" Maria said in a low voice staring right at her, "What else did he tell you?"

"That the two of you were getting back together—"

"Yeah he thinks that. We're not I told him we were over!"

Katya sighed sitting in one of the chairs next to Maria, "I figured that much. Ivan has never really been good at making friends and the only ones he has are his friends solely because they are too afraid to not be." She turned her body taking the other woman's hand in her own, "I know you don't like Ivan very much; he's a bully after all, and really I blame myself for letting him become one… but still he's my brother and the baby is my nephew."

"Are you really sitting here telling me to date him again just because I'm having his kid?" Maria was honestly horrified She knew that the other spoiled Ivan completely and babied him at every chance she could get, but she had also thought was the only Braginsky not complete batshit insane. Apparently she was wrong, "Really how could you even—"

"I would never do that!" Maria was suddenly relieved, " It's impossible to build a relationship on just the fact that you are expecting. What I was trying to say is that, he still needs a relationship with the child."

"But he's crazy!" Katya fixed her with a disapproving look, "I mean… well I mean that he's not exactly someone I would want to have around the kid. Like for visits and stuff."

"I'm sure something can be worked out… maybe I could keep him at my house when it was time for the two to see each other. But I have to admit despite what most people think, Ivan is great with children! He loves them, is rather gentle, and can play with them for hours on end. My little Vanya is so much sweeter than people give him credit for being."

Maria just crossed her arms before looking at her phone, "Yeah well I have a bus to catch… so I'll be seeing you." Maria stood up stretching her arms into the air.

"I can give you a ride if you'd like."

"Yeah… no, I'd rather not. You may try and guilt me into making decisions I would rather not."

Katya chuckled standing up too, "I am quite persuasive. Though for some reason with women they tend to not come to my side of things as easily as with men. I wonder why…"

"I'm sure it's something that you can figure out if you think about it long enough." Maria said with a little sigh making her way out of the classroom and down the hall. Off to the bus stop.

"Oh what about Alejandro?" Antonio asked lifting up one of the naming books so that it was inches away from Maria's face. He had to quickly put it down though because the squirming of Lovino was no longer able to be contained to one arm. His older son was getting dangerously close to tumbling off of his knee and face planting into to carpet.

"I dunno that sounds kind of gay." Maria said with a sigh. She'd picked up a few different naming books from the school library. At first she had been a bit baffled as to why a middle school would have such things, but then she remembered how kids now-a-days were.

"It's so not, it means 'defender'. That's a pretty masculine meaning."

"Yeah still sounds gay." She said with a sigh, "I need something manly and powerful. The sort of name that gains respect the moment you hear it."

"Then why not 'Arsenio'? It was my uncle's name and means 'virility'."

"Still sounds gay. How about you lay off the Spanish section and choose something originating in a language where the correct way to pronounce it involves a lisp."

"Then what do you like smarty-pants." Antonio had never been one to swear, though now that he always had two small children around him at all times the words he used in place of curses was far more annoying; though somehow Lovino had still managed to get a filthy mouth.

"Hmm… oh Friedrich is a good one." Maria declared just as Feliciano started to make up pleasant noises from her lap. She picked him up and started cooing in his face, "You'd want to be best friends and play with a little boy named Friedrich wouldn't you? Wouldn't you?"

"And you think Alejandro sounds gay."

"Hey now, Friedrich is an awesome name. You give me another name shared with a king who modernized Prussia, was pretty kick ass with war fare, had a legacy of religious tolerance, and could play the flute like a boss."

Francis now chimed in from his bedroom doorway, "And also a suspected homosexual by many historians."

Antonio snickered. Maria just puffed up her chest, "And the most kick ass gay to ever gay if those historian's theories were correct."

"So do you want to go with something German then?" the Spaniard asked wanting to be productive. "What is your father's name?"

"I'm not naming him after my dad, it would be way too weird, you know? Every time I say it, I am going to think of disapproving looks, scolding, and attempts at discipline. Shit would be nowhere near being cash." Maria said with a sigh, totally disregarding the fact that she was around two small children, one of them already having a language problem.

Antonio gently clicked his tongue at Lovino, who was now letting out a stream of swear words after hearing Maria swear. He however didn't even shot his friend a disapproving look for setting his older son off. After a couple of minutes he sighed deciding to give up and let Lovino down so that he could run off and destroy Francis's carefully arranged pillows on the couch.

Maria meanwhile was still holding tight onto Feliciano who was drooling all over his hands as she looked through another one of the baby naming books. She then suddenly looked up and stared at Antonio. She just stared at him until he looked back at her.

"What is it?"

"I have found the name." Maria was beaming, "It's so perfect."

Suddenly he was excited, "Tell me!"

"Ludwig."

"Like Beethoven?

"Yeah I guess. I mean I wasn't thinking of that guy though. It just sounds good and when you combine it with the fact that it just works well with 'Beilschmidt', you know? Plus it is masculine unlike those shit names you were thinking of man."

"It sounds like something Rue would come up with." He laughed a little bit mentioning his ex-wife, but the moment Maria gave him a death glare he stopped right away, "Sorry."

"Yeah well I think I'll go with this one because it's a million times better then Boris." She sighed closing the book with purpose, "Now how about you take your sweet ass to my kitchen and make me some lunch."


	8. Chapter 8

Maria rolled out of bed on Sunday morning, literally. With her stomach the size it had reached rolling was basically the only motion she was able to do (she were to trip and fall off a mountain top then she had the potential to take out half an Alpine village). Grumbling she hurried to the bathroom (another wonderful gift the magic of motherhood had brought her). Once she relieved herself and washed up her hands Maria made her way back to her bedroom and plopped back down on her bed.

That was when her phone began to ring. Groaning Maria reached over and narrowed her eyes down at the screen, expecting to see Ivan's number. She was pleasantly surprised though to see not only Eli's name but also his face smiling up at her. Nearly giddy she slide the "unlock" bar across the screen and answered with a casual "Hello~!"

_"Hey what's up?"_ he sounded a bit tired, and if Maria didn't know better she would say anxious and concerned (oh he totally was and she was so going to rub that into his face later).

"Nothing much I just woke up. This little guy's making my bladder go crazy. Shit sucks." She sighed for a bit of an effect. "What have you been up to man?"

_"I've been up to nothing really… just have been curious about whether or not you told Ivan about your growing bundle of joy… Not going to lie but I missed you."_

"Aww is that the sort of line you gave Rue when she was off on tour?" Maria had to admit that it felt good knowing her was thinking of her (because she was so thinking of him and beyond excited to not have to have been the first to say it). "Yeah though. Yeah man I told him, and it didn't go well… he wants in on baby raising, thinks that I'm back with him, and wants to name Ludwig 'Boris'."

Eli was quiet for a moment before he asked, _"Who is Ludwig?"_

"Oh right it's what I'm going to name my baby boy. 'Ludwig Bielschmidt', just say that out loud and tell me that it's not totally badass to the fucking extreme."

All she heard was insanely loud laughing, _"That sounds like something Rue would come up with"_ he continued to laugh, _"I swear, seriously! What will you name your second son, Amadeus?"_

"Dude that movie was pretty awesome." Maria yelled defensively though the laughter was still in her voice. "The only way to go up from Ludwig though would be to name him something like 'Max' or 'Wolf'. Holy shit, wouldn't a boy named Wolf be the best shit ever? I'm writing that one down… fuck it text that to me I don't think I have paper."

She could practically hear Eli roll his eyes. _"So, what are you going to do about the new Ivan situation?"_ he asked, the sound of his phone being adjusted came through via shifting fabric, _"If he thinks that you're back together now that's an issue… wait did you tell him you were back together."_

"FUCK NO!" Maria shouted, she could hear Francis hissing at her to quiet down through the wall, "He's just straight up cray-cray man. His sister showed up at work Friday to make sure I wasn't getting back with him! She even told him his ass was bat-shit insane."

_"And what are you going to do about that?"_

"I was hoping the two of you would have a battle to the death over me… though you're kind of a pussy so you'll have to start practicing your fighting skill again." She sighed adjusting her position, sitting up was not making her back too happy, "I'd totally spar against you but on the off chance you get a hit in, people will think that you are abusing a pregnant woman… and you don't need to have that sort of thing tarnishing your lovely public image."

Maria sighed as Eli tossed same fake laughter her way, "I think his sister has something planned. I'm not sure though she is his sister after all and seems to think that Ivan's just an oversized kid. I wonder if he was dropped on his head or something?"

_"Really you're trusted with other people's children on a daily basis and that's you're genius analysis of your baby-daddy? Didn't you have to take child psychology to get your degree?"_

"Psychology is such bullshit. Applying it to Ivan would just mean more bullshit I'm in no mood to think about. I'd rather just go ahead and say he's fucked mentally."

"Psychology is such bullshit. Applying it to Ivan would just mean more bullshit I'm in no mood to think about. I'd rather just go ahead and say he's fucked mentally."

_"God I love kissing that filthy mouth of yours. _So _classy."_

"_Fucking_ classy." Maria corrected waging her finger despite the fact that there was no way in hell he could see her, "So yeah back on track yo! Kat's said she's got something planned to fix this issue… I swear the chick's a total saint, I feel awful that she's related to him."

_"You could always seek the help of the wonderful American legal system, you know get a restraining order so he can't get near you."_

"You damn well know that's not my style. If worse comes to worse we can always fake our deaths, then ride off on a boat into a tropical sunset. I could become a drug lord, you my hot little boy-toy and live happily ever after before dying at the age of forty-five in a comically large pile of cocaine."

_"There are too many things wrong with that sentence for me to even begin."_ there was more shuffling on Eli's end of the phone and what sounded like water running, _"I've got to get ready or my whole day will be blown. I'll come pick you up later and we can go to dinner or something."_

"I'd rather just do carry out then dry hump you into oblivion on your couch."

_"Or that… whatever I've got to bounce. I love you."_

"Right back at you slick." Maria waited until she was sure that Eli has hung up his phone to do the same with her own. She threw her hands up in the air before laying her body back down across the bed starring at the ceiling.

She hated the feeling she had after getting off the phone with Eli. It wasn't even like it was the loathing she had had a few weeks ago, based solely on the fact that she felt like a silly little school girl giggling and thinking about her boyfriend (that self-hate had faded away). Now it was that Maria had to communicate with Eli over the phone for the most part. After all the two didn't live together and for the most part there weren't too many sexy sleepovers. Eli had given her stability, support, and reliability (things that no matter what Ivan would _never_ be able to give her). He was a good guy, no, a great guy, and if she were to be perfectly honest with herself she didn't really deserve him. But Maria was rarely honest with herself about her own short comings (and even _less_ frequent in the honesty department on that topic with others); so she would deny the fact that he was the kind of guy who deserved to be with a woman just as loving and sensitive as he was until the day that she died (or was heavily intoxicated but her next chance to get shitfaced was far off).

Maria groaned half rolling off of the bed to shuffle her way to the bathroom. She would rather just lay in bed all day but nature called and her little Ludwig had decided to press his body right into her bladder. She had attempted to create a make-shift bedpan (to maximize laziness) with one of Francis's fancy, over-priced food storage containers a few weeks prior but he had caught her then proceeded to lecture her on how it was unsanitary (and had uttered under his breath how The Pampered Chef deserved so much more). The whole time all Maria could think was: "Isn't that was dishwashers are meant for?"… after all many dildos were dishwasher safe and va-jay-jay juices (and booty residue if you were so inclined to use the toy anally) were far more stank-nasty then urine.


	9. Chapter 9

Life continued on in the typical fashion. With Maria calling Eli and Eli calling Maria back. There were dates, along with dinners spent on his couch watching trashy TV followed up by a make out sessions. Basically it was like every wonderful whirlwind older teen to early twenty something romance that anyone could have possible had, minus regular arguments and wild, passionate, drunken makeup sex.

Basically it was a practical dream come true.

Or at least it would be if it wasn't for Ivan's regular passive aggressive phone calls, though he hadn't shown up at her building again. Maria was pretty sure that was Katya's doing (the girl was a total saint and was one of two people with the ability of controlling Ivan somewhat… the other was his younger sister but she was terrifying). Caller ID existed on phones for a reason so all of those calls that he made were easily avoidable, and the messages he left could easily be deleted.

It was as if Maria's life was getting as close to perfect as she could ever hope it to be, while still maintaining a level of realistic expectations. After all she was in love, and that love wasn't manifesting itself in bruises and ridiculous fights over nothing. She was starting to feel pretty smug about the whole having a baby situation. Heck, she was even at the point where if Eli asked her to move in with him she'd totally say yes. Hell would probably totally let him marry her and all that shit. And the most insane thing about it all was that Maria was OK with that. She was perfectly fine with the fact that somehow she had managed to settle into a life with standard gender roles, monogamy, and using words to resolve one's feelings rather than fists, nails, knees, and teeth.

Here she was for the first time in her life that she would actually feel comfortable enough bringing a guy she was seeing home to meet her father. And it was at that moment when she had that particular thought that her phone rang. And once again as if her life were a script written by studio hacks working on a sitcom; her father was calling.

Maria squinted at the screen trying to decide whether or not she should pick up. After all he had raised her. At the same time though he was always hyper critical when it came to Maria's actions and unlike the majority of people in her life voiced those criticisms… but he said what he thought of her actions when they were wrong because he loved her; and she knew there was no way he could stay mad at her for long. The phone let out another ring, she was running out of time. She could ignore his call… but the two hadn't really spoken since she'd announced to him that she was pregnant, and he'd taken that news well (or well he really hadn't said anything, like at all). And well he was her back up plan if things didn't work out the way she wanted them too (she could take little Ludwig back to his place and live off of all that cushiony money he had saved up through hard work, inheritance, and being a responsible adult).

She clicked the phone on just before the fourth ring and held it up to her ear, "_Hallo, Vater_!" Maria said in an overly cheerful voice, it was an over compensation for the fact that she was so tense. In person her father was super intimidating, tall, long straight blonde hair, steely blue eyes, and a gaze that could strike fear in the heart of even the most hardened criminal. She could see him standing in front of her with a disapproving look on his face.

There was a pause on his end of the line before he replied, "_How have you been?_"

A typical way to start a conversation, Maria allowed herself to relax. "I've been fine… how about you?"

"_Well. How have things been with the child?_"

"Uh… good… I'm having a boy."

"_I'm glad to hear the health of both of you is good. Maria, what are you doing this weekend? I would really like for you to come for a visit._"

"Maybe…. Why?"

He let out a long sigh, "_For some catching up. I haven't seen you in over a year which is ridiculous. You don't live that far away_."

Maria did have plans to spend the weekend over at Eli's place, it was her favorite hangout spot after all. While she didn't really like the idea of sitting in her dad's living room as the two discussed the weather before her would inevitably begin to lecture her on her life choice; he was still her father and in no way was she in the mood to burn that bridge down. Plus if she were to cancel on Eli and tell him it was because her dad wanted her to come over he would basically encourage her to. And Maria didn't need to put up with that kind of guilt tripping on two ends.

"I'll need a ride." She said with a small sigh of defeat, "The buses don't go that far out on the weekends."

Her father made a noise of agreement, "_I'll come and get you around ten in the morning then?_"

"That's so early though!" Maria whined out the last word. Seriously ten in the morning on a Saturday was like the same as being woken up at two in the morning on a regular week night or something.

"_You're going to be wishing that you could sleep in that late in a few more months." _he said with a little laugh at the end. Maria was shocked, had her father really just made a joke, did he really just laugh? She wasn't able to dwell on that thought for long though, "_I will see you on Saturday then_."

"Yeah see you on Saturday." She waited for him to hang up first before pressing the little red phone and slipped in into the pocket of her gray sweatpants. _What on earth does he want to talk about?_ she thought looking down at her finger nails carefully picking the dirt underneath them as she brainstormed.

Maybe he was dying or something and this was like his final test to determine how much money he should leave her. Maria would guess that since he loved his house so damn much she would at least get that… it was paid off and everything and she was pretty sure being a teacher would get her out of having to pay someone the taxes because of however the heck those laws worked. She supposed he would leave a decent amount of money for her, after all her job didn't pay so well (it was amazing how when it came to education parents didn't give a flying fuck how much money the people expected to mold their young children's minds but the moment one of them showed up to work drunk there was an issue). Hopefully there would be something she could set aside to ensure that Ludwig would have the money to go to a decent school. And if she were really to wish as hard as possible he would leave her everything. Hell maybe she could go get one of those hideously think pairs of glasses and learn how to drive or something then blow a huge wad of cash on a fancy new car.

Or maybe he just, you know maybe he just wanted to speak to her or something. Maybe he just missed her and wanted to bond with her before the baby came. This could be the beginning of a beautiful reuniting of father and daughter; the two of them could begin a happy friendship full of love and wonder and whatever the fuck else there was in a happy father-daughter relationship. It could be something that cheesy tv movies were made of; she could practically see the lonely, morbidly obese cat ladies wiping the tears from their eyes with old fast food napkins.

She finished picking at her nails and did a quick inspection of her handy work. Satisfied she slumped into the couch and pulled her cellphone out from her pocket to text Eli.

_sorry can't chill this weekend. hangin' wit dad_.

She set the phone on her stomach and waited for his answer as she flipped through the channels for something worthwhile to watch. The channel surfing was in vain so she just settled on a documentary on the evolution of military technology through the twentieth century. The phone vibrated and Maria grabbed it before it could fall off of her bulging belly.

_Cute. Are you two going to a father daughter dance?_

Her reply was swift (after all she spent a lot of time around preteens and had mastered their technique via observation):

_ha ha ha sounds like a sissy-ass date ud do w/ ur dad. i dunno wat he wants_

His reply came quicker this time.

_Fine then maybe he just wants to talk. It's cool though you should spin some more time with your dad._

She sighed before thumbing out her own message:

_ur 2 understanding. y can jerk_?

Saturday morning came and Maria forced herself out of bed at the ungodly hour of just a little after nine thirty in the morning. There were birds chirping, the sun was shining and it was just awful. Her father hated lateness, and honestly Maria did too. Sure she seemed like a slacker but being prompt had been so engrained within her that even if it caused severe physical pain she was one to not make people wait for her (especially when she was getting a ride, after all that was just rude).

She took a quick shower and went through all the typical motions of making herself presentable before changing into a clean pair of gym shorts and a tshirt just before ten. She only had to wait a minute before her father's black Mercedes Benz pulled up to the curb. Wordlessly Maria climbed into the passenger's seat and clipped her seatbelt on. She folded her hands in her lap and glanced towards her father.

Mr. Beilschmidt glanced towards her and gave his only child and awkward sort of lip twitch that was his way of smiling (the corners of his mouth never really turned upwards, they just sort of slid back) but there was a warmth in his eyes. His long blond hair wasn't pulled back into a sleek professional ponytail, even though the outfit he wore (khaki slacks and a dark green polo) screamed business casual. She would feel like a chump if it weren't for the fact that it was summer break, the heat was hot, and everything Maria owned other than loose fitting gym shorts would lead her to a near homicidal rage.

"Good Morning." He said in his low voice before turning his eyes to the road and pulling out from alongside the curb.

"Morning." Maria replied in a quiet voice straightening up her back, "Are you dying?"

He raised a brow, "Why would you think that?"

"Because we haven't really seen each other in a while and I don't know isn't that how things go in the movies. Estranged father only contacts his daughter after he finds out he's terminal and only has a couple of months to live so that the two of them can rekindle their relationship. You know that heartwarming shit with a total bummer ending just for the lulz."

"What is 'lulz'?"

"Don't worry about it. Just are you dying?"

"Not that I know of." Maria let out a breath of relief before he continued: "I just think that the two of us need to talk about some things. Especially since you're going to be a mother in a few months, and you don't have the most stable of situations."

_Oh so he just wants to lecture me after all_. she thought feeling her relief morph into mild annoyance. "Don't worry about that. I've got a job, an apartment, and Ivan and I broke up so there won't be any more fist fights and calls for bail money."

Mr. Beilschmidt made a noise of mildly happy surprise, "I'm well, frankly I'm glad to hear that you had the maturity to make that decision. Though we still need to make sure he takes responsibility for the child and pays some kind of child support. I normally don't deal in that kind of case but I have a friend that does—"

"Yeah well I kind of don't want him to. I just want him as far away as possible with little to no communication. I mean I spoke to his sister and she's got something in the works to keep him as far away from me as possible. Which is awesome… so yeah."

"Do you have any idea how expensive children are? Being a single mom is tough and you need all the financial stability that you can get. On top of it why should you have to take care of all things money wise on your own?"

"Because I want to."

"Don't start your sentences with 'because'. So you're just going to let him go off completely free of all responsibilities because you don't like him? Have you even thought of what you are going to do if this child ends up with albinism? That's more money you're going to have to spend and there is no question that you're a carrier for the gene, if he is too… you're looking at a 50% chance and that's more bills."

"I'm not too worried about bills and things."

"You should be."

"I'm not really the sort of person that concerns themselves with bills, and money, and well anything really. That sort of stuff just brings me down. And if this whole thing is going to be a lecture on fiscal responsibility then I'd rather you just take me back home."

"It's not going to be just that Maria." He said before falling quiet again.

The two of them sat with just the sounds of other cars and the air blowing past their windows. Maria found herself regretting the choice to cancel bumming out on Eli's couch all day even more then she thought she would. Of course spending the day with her father was going to be him telling her she needed to prepare for the worst. Luckily it seemed that he was taking the whole longer being with the father of her child thing much better then she was expecting him to. But she supposed that had to do with him raising her to be an independent human being.

She began to fiddle with her nails as they turned off of the highway and down towards the house. It was a brief ride but the city Maria inhabited turned quickly from an urban scape to suburbs. The house she had grown up in and her father still occupied was in a rather upscale neighborhood,. There were large homes built mostly in the federal style with good sized yards and huge trees lined the streets. The kind of quiet area, that still somehow maintained a certain kind of personality and charm, despite having been built in the sixties to accommodate the growing population.

They pulled up into the drive way and made their way to the large brick building. The moment she walked through the door the memories of a childhood spent running through the house came flooding back. She was half tempted to run up the stairs and into her old bedroom just to through herself on the bed and blast rock music as loud as she could. But she was supposed to be spending time with her father not reliving her teenage years (which were basically spent as isolated from him as possible while still living under the same roof).

"Are you hungry?" Mr. Beilschmidt asked from the arch between the foyer and the kitchen, "I'm going to guess you pulled yourself out of bed as late as possible so breakfast wasn't at the top of your list."

"You know me well daddy don't you." She half sang skipping the three steps until she was just behind him before following her father into the kitchen, "I just, seriously ten on a Saturday during summer break is crazy! This is my time of year to slack off even more then I usually do."

"You really shouldn't slack at all."

"I know that." She rolled her eyes placing her hands on her hips, "But I don't really give out tests and quizzes so unlike most teachers my day ends once that sweet last bell rings."

He was busying himself in the refrigerator pulling out vegetables and meat. "You live with a chef now there is really no excuse for you to be skipping meals."

"Yeah there is. Francis works late and half of the time he ends up bringing home a girl or a guy and they two of them (sometimes more) get it on. And after a night of love making no one feels like doing anything except for taking a long hot shower and getting the bedding cleaned." She leaned onto the counter top propping her body up on her arms.

"You are far too comfortable saying things like that in front of me."

"Don't worry I feel completely uncomfortable letting you know anything about my person… yeah that personal stuff."

"Like the fact that you're dating Rue's most recent ex?" he turned to face her and raise his eyebrow.

Maria could feel the heat rushing to her face. Unsure watch to do she just shoved her forehead hard into the counter top. Well that was one way to hide the blushing for now but she could already feel the bruise forming dead center about her eyebrows (another perk of being pale!).

"Wow you're being far quieter about that then I was expecting. Also, sit up, act like an adult."

There was a muffled cry that came out from beneath her head before she sat up and gave her father a pathetic look. "How the hell did you find out about that?"

"I have my sources. You told Antonio, Antonio told Rue, Rue told her father, and her father told me. Really is it that shocking I would find out."

"How pissed are you though?"

There was a pause as Mr. Beilschmidt considered the question. "The two of you were friends back in high school so it's not like you met him through her. It is a bit weird but I honestly don't have problem with it because he was married to your cousin but because you have yet to even give birth to another man's child. And correct me if I'm wrong but I believe their divorce has yet to be finalized."

"No they're done on the legal front. Rue may be awkward as hell when it comes to physical activity but she's at least fast at that kind of thing. And hell she had her new man way before Eli and I got together… she had her new man before the two even signed the papers."

"I only have on objection then." He fixed her with one of his just-the-mouth-moving-back smiles.


	10. Chapter 10

Maria sat surrounded by a sea of crape paper, soft baby blue balloons, and tacky signs covered in cheese slogans like: "Good-Bye Sleep, Hello Baby" and "It's a Boy!". This was the baby shower for little Ludwig (who should be arriving in the next month or so) organized by Antonio.

He had decided it was his duty to sneak into the apartment that she and Francis shared before hanging up decorations and setting up party games. There were a couple of problems with the whole surprise baby shower plan. Antonio had to come over early, the man had no concept of what early meant so he thought that eleven in the morning was early and enough time to set things up before the other guests would arrive around noon; it was his weekend to have the twins and it was extremely difficult to make sure most toddlers could stay quiet for an hour, let alone two who were prone to crying and temper tantrums; Francis was in charge of the food and had brought it all home the night before; both of them underestimated the bizarre eating habits and weak bladders of a pregnant woman.

Maria had figured something was up at four-thirty in the morning after during one of her frequent bathroom breaks. It had started out as a trip to the toilette but soon after she had finished her business an uncontrollable desire hit her to go and eat. So she stalked her way to the kitchen on the prowl for the left over pizza that she had saved from a few hours prior. What she found instead was both horrifying and beautiful (perhaps horrifyingly beautiful?). The cardboard box of pizza was gone, but in its place were trays of finger foods, sweets, and some kind of pasta dish. Whatever, she figured if her body wanted pizza then some of that pasta would have to do (after all there was cheese, carbs, and tomatoes in it—the basic building blocks of pizza). When Antonio had entered the house, Maria has managed to sleep through that. But only 15 minutes into his arrival her bladder was once again at maximum capacity and she waddled her way across the hall and into the bathroom. As she made her way back to the hall she caught the sound of a giggle from the living room followed by a shushing noise. This is when she discovered Antonio sitting on the living room floor the decorations forgotten as he tickled Lovino.

And that was how the surprise had been ruined.

Maria had been forced to retreat back to her room by both of her best friends, and cutely enough little Lovino and Feliciano as well. She had sat there as the two idiots finished hanging up the crape paper, setting up the table, and guiding the balloons into position before they called to her and told her it was ok to come out.

So, now, there she was thirty minutes into the failure of a surprise baby shower, feeling both thankfulness for the thought and second hand embarrassment for their lack in tack. "So, who else did you invite?" Maria asked raising her eyebrow from her spot on the couch.

Antonio thought for a moment, "Eli, but he said he was going to be late because he had to pick something up. You're dad… he never got back to me… Belle—"

"Who's Belle?" France quickly interjected suddenly looking very interested.

Maria turned her head to fix her blond friend with half of a death glare, "It's my special day Francis, so I hope you know you weren't going to be trying to bed any of the party guests." She gave a quick laugh unsure if it was meant to soften the blow and prove that she was joking, or if even though she had set up those parameters he would somehow still have been able to finish off the day with a date. She then turned back to Antonio, "So, who is this Belle? I don't know anyone with that name."

"Ah, well that's why she said she didn't want to come since she hadn't met you yet and that would be rude."

"This still hasn't answered the question."

"Oh right," the perma-smile on his face got even wider, "She's my girlfriend. Or well we've been seeing each other for about a month so I think she's my girlfriend now… plus she really likes Lovi and Feli… and they both like her, even Lovi likes her so that's a good sign right?" Antonio laughed.

_Heck yeah it is… I didn't think it was possible for that brat to like anyone_, Maria thought though she had enough sense not to say it and from the look on Francis's face he was thinking the same exact thing. So she settled on a cheerful "Congratulations man! It's great that you're finally dating after my bitchy cousin." Because it really was true. She hadn't been able to stand it when he and Rue had started to date, then when they got engaged, married, she had gotten pregnant—all of it. When he had told her the two were getting divorced Maria had honestly been excited thought could tell that it was bothering Antonio so she never said anything about her joy… since that would have probably just been cruel.

Francis said his congratulations too, followed by some cheesy line about how great it was to be in love and how badly he wished he could find just one person to dedicate his heart to. This elicited an eye roll from every adult in the room, the twins had fallen asleep in their play pin, but Maria was certain even in their dreams they had heard that and rolled their eyes behind their closed eye lids.

"So that's all you invited, three people? Man I though you knew I was more popular than this Toni!"

"Are you? I mean I asked Katya and Rue to come too and they both said they could see what they could do."

"You what?" Maria yelled out.

"Well you seem to like Katya—"

"I like Katya." Francis interjected in the background but he went ignored.

"And Rue's your cousin so I figured family was a good idea."

"Yeah but while I think Katya's fine she's Ivan's fucking sister and I want that crazy bastard as far away from me until I figure out if I should get a restraining order or something. He's also totally creepy and could use his tactics to pry information from her. Trust me she can't say no to that psychopath. That's like practically inviting evil into the house. But shit Satan asks for permission first, Ivan doesn't." Maria sighed covering her eyes with the palms of her hands. Antonio was letting out a stream of apologies. She breathed, "It's fine." Well Katya had so far kept up her end of the bargain about seeing what she could do about Ivan… and it had been more than two months since he had come-a-knocking on their door.

Still even if Katya didn't show up and didn't tell Ivan what was going on… there was still the matter of Rue. "Why would you invite your ex-wife? Seriously, she's your ex-fucking-wife. Shit and Eli's going to be here soon too? SO what is it a reunion of that woman's ex-husbands of something?"

"Oh, right… they were married weren't they." Antonio let out a little laugh rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Yes. Plus Francis is here, and while she might be with that other guy I have a sinking suspicion she would lee him for a chance to sink her evil harpy claws into him too."

"Hey, I'd never marry your cousin." France lifted his hands up in defense, "I am a lover but that kind of commitment I am no way ready for."

"Please marrying that woman isn't a commitment she'll leave you in a matter of a year or something. The prissy bitch likes to act like she's a high and mighty symbol of classy upper class whatever. Just she might not even show so I'm not going to get worked up over it." Maria threw her hands up in the air, "Someone get me something to eat."

Antonio stood up and made his way to the table where the food was being stored and started to pile thinks up on one of the powder blue paper plates. There was a knock on the door and Francis stood up to answer it. Suddenly he came rushing back and practically hissed, "It's Rue!"

"The demon knew we were talking about her." Maria hissed back maneuvering herself so that he knees were digging into the couch, she shot a look over at Antonio.

"Maybe if we ignore her she'll go away."

"That would be rude though." Antonio said at a normal volume, completely oblivious as to why they were whispering.

There was muffled speech from the other side of the door that they couldn't make out followed by a louder voice, this one belonging to Rue and it was quite obvious why she was being so loud, "Oh Eli, what are you doing here?"

"NO!" Maria yelled out unable to hold in the pain. She then suddenly went back to whispering, "Shit let her in. Hold on though I need to do something… wait until I get to my room." She stood up from the couch after two tries and a hand from Antonio, before slowly making her way to her room. In the time it took to get there, there were another two knocks on the door.

Maria shut her bedroom door behind herself and heard Francis greeting both her boyfriend and cousin at the door as they entered. Right, so Maria had to make the whole thing as quick as she could and looked around the room frantically for something else to wear. The sweatpants weren't going to cut it if Rue was in the house. Her mind flashed back to one of the hideously in fashion maternity dresses that Francis had bought her. Maria ran to the closet and started to shift through the mess for the thing.  
>"Finally!" she let out a little gasp of victory as she lifted the pale blue dress with tiny flowers all over it in a darker blue from the closet, thankful that it wasn't just straight up white. She tossed away her shirt and kicked off the sweatpants before coming to the realization that she was going bare back and braless…<p>

The lack of panties wouldn't be such a bother, the dress was long enough that she didn't really need to worry about taking anyone's picture. Maria then waddled her way over to the dresser and went through the top drawer for a bra that would fit. Finding an actual one wasn't going to well so she settled on a sports bra pulling out and stuffing her swollen breast inside of it. Then she tossed on the dress thankful that it wasn't wrinkled and that it was big enough to fit over her stomach. Lazily she clipped her hair back into a messy bun and slipped on a pair of sandals that were sitting next to the bedroom door before walking into the hall. She let out a deep breath shutting the door behind her and holding her stomach for effect as she made her way back to the living room.

She only had seconds to decide how to make her entrance. She needed something to say the moment she "noticed" that Rue and Eli had entered the apartment.

"Oh there you are!" Rue said standing up from her spot on one of the armchairs. Maria held back a hiss annoyed that her cousin had managed to say something first, "Look at you, it looks like you actually put effort into the way that you look today. I'm so much more used to your…" she paused clearly for effect to let everyone know that she had insulted her cousin but in a back handed way, "… effortless beauty. That's what it's called right when a woman manages to look lovely without clearly trying one bit."

There was a brief uncomfortable silence in the room. All the while though Maria kept her smile plastered to her facing hoping that it hadn't faltered one bit. "Oh Rue it's wonderful how you can keep all of your poise and elegance despite being in a room full of men that you've managed to scorn? I mean every one of them here has a history with you other than Francis."

Another moment were everything was quiet before her cousin let out a loud laugh (though it was quite obviously fake). "It's been too long since we've had one of our moments. Your feet must be so tired you should sit down. I know I was exhausted when I was having the twins." She motioned towards the two sleeping toddlers who had managed to stay completely out through the drama.

Maria grinned before settling back into her spot at the center of the couch between Francis and Eli. She took her boyfriend's hand right away and kissed him on the cheek as soon as she sat down. "Hello Eli." She said very clearly before whispering in his ear, "we can kill Antonio together later."

He kissed her back, "Sorry I was running late," he then followed up her whisper with one of his own, "I know the perfect place to hide the body."

_He's so perfect for me._ Maria thought.

"So, how long have the two of you been together exactly?" Rue asked her eyebrows raised as she motioned towards Maria and Eli.

2013-09-03 17:17 (UTC)(link)

"A few months now." Eli said cheerfully.

"So this little bundle of joy isn't yours then?"

"No, or course not."

Rue let out a sigh of relief, "Oh thank goodness I was worried that you had cheated on me Eli. But now that I know it's not yours we can go ahead and have a lovely party."

The room went silent yet again. Maria cursed Antonio mentally for extending the woman and invitation. Eli held in the obvious _Like what you did to me_ that he was so clearly thinking. Antonio continued with his genuine oblivious grin. And Francis swooped in and saved the situation from exploding into a fist fight.

"So should we play a game. Antonio do you have the drawing pad."

"Let me get it from the closet." He hurried over to the hallway closet grabbing what he needed before making his way back to the ring of fire-y hatred, "It's baby themed Pictionary." He smiled holding up a large black marker and over-sized paper pad.

Francis stood up alongside, Antonio and assisted him with setting up the easel. That was until the knock on the door.

Everyone froze for a moment looking around the room. Unsure of who it could be out of the other two people Antonio could have invited. Maria's father was a very prompt man so odds of it being him were slim, if he was running late he would have called a head and Maria's phone hadn't rang once. That left Katya but she would have called a head too…

Rue looked around at the others looking confused as to why no one had gotten the door, before she stood up and did so herself. "I guess I'll just get that then. Looks like you're a bit more popular then I was starting to think you were!"

Maria and Eli turned their heads from their spot on the couch, their faces twisting into an absolutely horrified expression as the door opened to reveal Ivan. He had his typical smile on his face as he entered the apartment. "Hello everyone!"

The twins finally woke up the moment Maria, Antonio, Francis, and Eli all let out a small screech of terror.

**Author's Note: **One more chapter left guys then I will be doing an epilog… maybe/mostlikely


	11. Chapter 11

There he was, Ivan, standing in the doorway with a big, stupid grin plastered across his big stupid face. And like usual he was playing completely oblivious. There Maria was sitting on the couch looming over her shoulder, struck dumb and filled with horror. Eli sat next to her looking towards the door too unable to move.

The twins were screaming now, after being woken up from their nap. Antonio was attempting to calm down and quiet the two and to Maria's surprise (well would-be-surprise if she were watching) Rue was even attempting to help as she bounced Lovino up and down on her hip frantically whispering to the boy.

The uninvited intruder and the screaming babies were not the only issue either. There was something else wrong, and really wrong at that. Maria placed both hands on her stomach with a pained expression on her face; something was up with Ludwig. Eli was no longer by her side, having jumped over the back on the couch making his way towards Ivan who was still standing there grinning like an idiot.

"Did I interrupt something?" the big dumb idiot asked, there are so many people here then I am used to."

"Yeah you did so you need to leave." Eli said in a stern matter-of-fact tone motioning towards Ivan's chest with a jabbing pointer finger then to the door over his shoulder, "So you better get stepping."

Meanwhile Maria was still sitting on the couch confused, with that pained expression on her face as her finger tips moved their way all across her stomach trying to figure out what exactly was wrong. Francis was the only one not preoccupied with and intruding crazy-ass Russian man or two screaming kids; so Francis was the only one to notice her discomfort. "Are you OK?" he asked crouching next to her on one knee with his face full of concern.

"I don't know." Was all she said looking right back into his face. "I can't tell if it's gas or… ugh—" the 'ugh' cut off the word labor.

Ivan was still standing there smiling as Eli tried to get him out of the apartment. It was easy to tell that whatever was going on with them it was quickly escalating. Antonio had a squirming Lovino in his arms (Rue had traded him out for Feliciano since the older one was far more difficult to deal with—though Feliciano had started up again with his crying after being handed over to his mother).

Francis however was still focused on Maria, "Do we need to go?"

"I don't—" there she was cut off by a rush of fluid from between she legs. Maria looked at her roommate as he starred back at her switching his gaze from Maria, to his couch, then to his couch, expensive rug, and his pants' leg, them back to Maria in a never ending circle of horror. "OK yeah, I think it's time to get going. Maria began to wiggle her was off of the couch in the wetness making it awkward and even more uncomfortable than usual with the planet under her clothes.

Francis darted away from his spot on the floor to run to the linen closet in the hallway to hunt down his ugly old towels and attempt to rescue the couch and carpet. The pants he could always burn it wasn't like he even cared for this particular pair all that much. He scurried back into the room just as Maria had finally managed to get off of the couch.

"Time to wrap this shindig up!" She said clapping her hands together and pointing at Eli and Ivan who were now in one another's faces a matter of inches away from one another.

"Oh! But I just arrived." Ivan smiled.

"You weren't exactly invited now where you." Eli muttered his arms crossed over his chest and scowl on his lips.

"Yeah well I just ruined Franny's couch and his fancy-ass-pants. She motioned towards Francis as he attempted to sop up the mess of baby related fluids in between his sobs about the ruined rug. There was a beat before what she had said sank into her boyfriend and ex's heads before simultaneously they said "Oh!"

They both grabbed each of her arms and began to pull her towards the door. Maria yelped causing Rue and Antonio to divert their attention from their children. "What on earth is going on?" her cousin asked raising her eyebrows and looking into the chaos. "This is why I can't stand spending time around you there is always some sort of drama or other. I swear you are the most ridiculous person I have ever spent any amount of time with."

Antonio though seemed to put all of the pieces together on his own (for the first time in his life). "Is it baby time?" he asked super excited with a look in his eyes that suited a brand new puppy more so than a grown man pushing thirty.

"Yes." Francis cried out from his spot on the floor.

Eli and Ivan went back to their tug of war and Maria tried to shake Ivan free. Antonio handed Lovino over to Rue as she struggled to try and hold both babies onto either one of her hips. He was busily trying to repack the diaper bag and fold the play pin up into its little bag. Francis changed the rags.

Maria managed to free her hand from Ivan, tucked it to her chest. Eli took this chance to hurriedly move her away from the apartment. They ran down the hall, well more like Maria waddled at a power-walk-esque past and Eli half dragged her behind him. It was still rather uncomfortable.

Ivan followed after the two of them, Antonio behind him, and Rue with the twins (Francis had yet to leave his spot on the rug. The line of running people must have looked ridiculous as the made their way thru the hallway and down the stairs, out to their respective cars. Eli let go of Maria's hand next to her passenger side of his car before sliding across the hood. Maria maneuvered herself into the car regretting her choice to go panty-less.

"Are you alright?" he asked turning on the car and immediately backing out of the spot.

"Just peachy." She breathed out as Ivan ran to his panel van. She was pretty sure you weren't supposed to run around while in labor. Like that was a pretty big no-no, though she had never really read any of those shitty ass parenting magazines. "Just drive and fast so he can't follow us."

"What about Rue and Antonio?"

"Fuck them both! Rue for being a cunt-face-whore, and Antonio for inviting her."

"We still need to kill him."

"True. But, I don't what to precious babies stuck with Rue… wait until he uses that sweet ass of his a new wife, then we can go ahead and kill him."

"Revenge is after all a dish that is best served cold."

They pulled out onto the highway. Maria turned around in the seat and looked around squinting to try and find Ivan's van. But she was having no luck at all seeing how she was practically blind without her glasses. She patted herself down, which seeing how she was in a dress meant there was nowhere to hide her phone.

"Eli phone." Maria turned her hand up and reached it over towards her boyfriend.

He momentarily lost control of the car and swerved a bit as he lifted up in the seat to reach back and get his cellphone out from his back pocket. Retrieving the he placed it in her upturned hand.

"Fuck, it needs a passcode."

"0608" Eli said focusing back onto the road.

"Isn't that your anniversary with bitch-face?"

"Yeah that is. I just haven't gotten a chance to change it yet."

Maria just rolled her eyes and squinted out at the and typed in her roommate's phone number.

"_Bonjour." _He sounded like her had just found out he had cancer, "_Francis Bonnefoy speaking."_

"It's me. Suck it up about the goddamned rug, it'll be fine."

"Get my phone and glasses, then meet us at General."

"What about your dad?" Eli asked in a harsh whisper.

"And call Vati for me?"

"_Is he going to pay for the damage?"_

"Sure why not? Just do it."

"_Fine" _he hung up the phone.

Maria tossed the phone into the cup holder. "So General Hospital then?" Eli asked.

"Since I told Francis that, I guess that we have to don't we?"

"Works for me, do you see Ivan?"

"Nope. Can't see a fucking thing though. He drives a white panel van that looks like something a pedo would lure children to."

"I don't see anything like that." He turned off onto the exit and followed the H's until they made it to the hospital. Eli sped up to the emergency room door and glanced towards Maria nodding at her.

She shifted around in the seat and did her best to cover her bare goodies with her hand as she tried to make her way out of the car smoothly. Maria managed this somehow and waddled away to the sliding glass doors and Eli sped off to park the car. She continued on through the doors and up to the counter where a nurse sat looking flipping through a magazine.

"Hey," Maria winced as another sharp pain coursed through her abdomen and was then replaced with a dull ache, "I'm kind of in labor."

"You want maternity then, not the emergency room." the nurse's tone was bored and she looked less than impressed.

"Right. Where is that?"

"The fourth floor tower."

"And how do I get there?" she resisted the urge to swear at the young woman.

The nurse stood up from her swivel chair and pointed down the hallway, "Go that way a bit, then once you get the elevators press 'T4'. Get off on that floor and follow the signs that say maternity… or well the stupid stork stickers will also get you there."

"Right, thanks I guess…" And off she waddled down the white linoleum hallway to find the elevators and make her way to her destiny. She made it to the floor and squinted her way from stork sticker to stork sticker until she stood outside the double doors. That was when she stopped hearing a familiar voice.

"Her name is 'Beilschmidt'." The voice, which struck fear into her heart and down her spine—since it was Ivan's overly cheerful childish voice with just the right touch of menacing, "I am almost certain that she is here… where else could she have gone?" he wondered aloud.

"I'm sorry sir but there is no Beilschmidt on this floor."

"Silly nurse this is the floor for the babies, yes?" he asked as his voice dropped down to just above a whisper, "And where else would a lady having a baby be at in a hospital other than maternity?"

"Sir I have no idea. She is not here on this floor though, and like you said where else would she be at, other then maybe another hospital."

Ivan paused for a brief moment and thought about something which Maria wasn't exactly sure of. "She must just not be here yet." He glanced towards the little waiting area then with one hand motioned towards it where others were anxiously awaiting the arrival of friends' and relatives' newborns. "I will just wait for her, and my son, here."

The nurse said nothing but just nervously watched the man trying to decide if she should page for security to come up or not. Maria on the other hand was nervously glancing around hoping that she would see Eli. Maybe the two of them could make a break for it to another hospital. If Ivan was so sure that she was on her way here then the thought that they could have gone to Memorial instead hopefully wouldn't have crossed his mind… or maybe they could be really out there and go to that hippy-dippy birthing center two towns over… then again that place probably required an appointment and months in advance warning, and most importantly didn't offer the beauty of modern drugs (and she had been really looking forward to trying out the epidural—it sounded amazing). There was another sharp pain to replace the dull ache that had settled into her body after the last stab.

As she stood there in pain and contemplating her choices the magical word 'Security' crossed her mind... Oh Security. If there were called p then Ivan would be banned from the hospital, possibly arrested, and obtaining a restraining order would then be easy-peasy. It was great. Though at the same time Maria was worried that her sadistic side was coming through sure he was crazy but legal action could maybe, possibly, be a bit much… and then she felt too soft letting that thought wander into her head… next it was confusion… followed be a small wave of self-loathing… and then the blessed reminder that she was probably just emotional.

In the end though Maria choose to confidently stroll up to the counter with the thought of security tucked into the back of her mind—if need be and only need be of course.

"How can I help you ma'am!" the nurse whom Ivan had been speaking to earlier beamed up at her from her stool behind the counter. She was a cute overly happy type of Asian girl wearing scrubs decorated with little ducks that screamed she enjoyed her job as a hospital receptionist way too much.

"I kind of have a baby about ready to come flying from my vag… so I need to you know check in and junk before I pop him out right here on this floor. I mean I am kind of over this whole being pregnant thing, so I really don't mind traumatizing every one of these good folks here… but still I'd rather not."

The girl smiled right back at her not at all phased by what had just come out of Maria's mouth. "Right, you must be Mrs. Beilschmidt!" she pointed towards Ivan who had now turned towards them hearing her name, "Your husband's already here."

"Yeah no that's not my husband—" Maria started.

"—Yet—" Ivan called out from his spot as he stood up from the chair.

"And you never will be!" she called over her shoulder before focusing back on the nurse who was now starting to actually look concerned about the situation. "Right anyways, I'd like to check in so hand over the paper work. And don't let this dude back there." She jammed her thumb towards Ivan who was hovering behind her shoulder, "Uh there is this other guy though Eli Herdarvary. He's cool peoples so he can come on in. ID check if you have to."

The nurse gathered the necessary papers onto a clip bored and handed it to Maria along with a check stick pen. "Right, 'Eli Her-dar-vary'?" she pulled a pen from her pocket—this one more fancy and clearly personal, "How do you spell that?"

"Honestly no fucking clue."

"I'll just sound it out then. Please fill out these forms and turn them in when you're finished or we call you back, either one."

Maria took the clipboard, winked at the nurse and waddled her way towards an empty hospital chair. _Where the fuck is my wheelchair?_ she thought halfway to the seat, _In all the movies and TV shows they always get one…_

"Why don't you want me there?" Ivan asked snatching Maria back into reality and away from her wheelchair dreams. His voice was far more serious and lower then her typically was, and she had to admit that it was unexpected and quite startling. "Why?"

"Because I don't. OK." Maria said without looking p from the paper work as she filled out her name. "Man, we're terrible around each other and the vibes coming off you man are so toxic I could choke to death, like super easily and I'd rather not die."

"Do I stink?"

"No I'm talking like figuratively man not literally. It's just not stable and that's no buenos for a baby ok? And like I know it's totally unorthodox how I'm doing this whole motherhood thing but I want a good environment for Lutz even before he can figure out the world and is just crying and covered in guts pissed off that he's been forced out of his swanky warm room."

Ivan looked hurt and made quiet noise. Maria stopped her writing and paused looking at him. And it wasn't a look of disgust, or lust, or anger, or any of the ways she typically looked on him. It was pity. That was the feeling she was pitying him, and she wasn't even sure if she could blame it on the whole being pregnant thing. Ivan may have been fucking crazy but he was still a human being.

"But, he's my first child too." He said in a low voice, just barely auditable to her. And those words, that sentence it melted her heart. Maria felt like a total bitch.

"I… right… he is isn't he?" she sighed and looked about the room. "Right, OK… let me…" She turned to face the nurse's desk "You can give this guy a badge too!" she called out, "He can officially come to the party." Ivan instantly perked up. Maria focused back on him and yanked him into the seat before he could scurry away to collect his visitor's sticker, "You can't be crazy though, and no fighting with Eli. I'm his now. Once this chaos is over and I'm still high as a kite we can talk about visitation rights and shit. But the moment you do something to piss me off today I'm calling security. Got it?"

He nodded vigorously and made a motion to stand up. Maria held him down in the seat though and fixed him with a hard stare extending her pinky towards him. Ivan looked from the pinky to Maria's face, he nodded again and wrapped his own around hers. She closed her eyes gave her own short nod and let him go.

"You can go get the sticker now."

He stood up and did as he was told, and she went back to filling out the forms. Eli entered the ward with a confused look on his face. He noticed Ivan first and nearly ran up behind the buy to drag him out; then he noticed Maria and hurried to where she sat on one of the wood and vinyl arm chairs. "What is he doing here?" He motioned towards Ivan as he whispered in her ear.

"I told him it was cool if he came into the delivery room too… as long as he doesn't act like a total psychopath."

"So you're giving him room to mildly act like one. And what about that whole car chase thing we did earlier. Are we just going to ignore that?"

"Yeah we are. Are you questioning my authority?" Maria sighed signing her name on the final line and placing the clipboard on one the magazine covered coffee table next to her. "Dude, as fucking crazy as Ivan is, he's still this kid's father. Like it's his baby, and wouldn't you want to be around for all the important things that happened to your child too? Like what if after you and Re decided to break things off you found out she was going to be pushing your span fourth form her stank-cave? You know you'd want to be there just for your half satanic progeny."

"But I'm not crazy." Eli mad a last ditch effort to convince Maria.

"True. He's not entirely crazy though either. It's what's so frustrating about being with him. He knows what he's doing is wrong but he does it anyway… I think it's more that he's an asshole then insane."

"Well I'm not an asshole."

"You can be darling. We all can be." She grabbed the clipboard from the table and shoved it into her boyfriend's hands, "Could you please turn this in for me and get your badge. I want you on your best behavior Eli."

"Yes 'mommy'." He mouthed the last word to her and stood up.

Maria relaxed in the chair and wondered what the hell was taking so long for them to get her room ready. Ivan returned to the seat to her left. She glanced over at the man who was looking absolutely giddy. But not in his usual malevolent way, but an innocent one… like a seven year old at Christmas who was expecting an XBOXONE.

"I can't wait… for Bor—the baby to be here."

Maria nodded, "I decided on Ludwig. I've already told everyone that's what his name was going to be, even my dad. So don't even think about calling this kid Boris out loud."

His excitement wavered and there was a slight hint of disappointment on his face. Like when he had un-wrapped the box there was a PS4 there instead. On one hand it wasn't the exact thing that he had wanted, and expected, but it was still a pretty bitching present. "I don't really like that name… 'Ludwig'."

"Too bad. I really don't give a flying fuck what you like. It's Ludwig. So deal with it. And don't even think about starting one of your fucked up little games. Or you best believe I'll smack you with the ban hammer." She really wanted to break out in a huge grin, but that would be too much of an obvious sign she was really enjoying lording power over her ex-boyfriend and current baby-daddy.

Eli returned with his florescent orange sticker stuck to his chest and settled into the chair to her right. He was smiling at her and placed his hand on top of hers, though he still looked a bit uncomfortable. Like Perky Reception Nurse and the other occupants of the waiting room did over the whole situation. It was weird but since when had Maria been one to worry about society's stupid little rules? It was like the jovial atmosphere had fled the room.

Antonio came running into the waiting room panting. He had Feliciano and Lovino in either arm and the diaper bag hanging from around his neck. It seemed that Rue had ditched her ex-husband and two children somewhere in the course of their trip to the hospital. And Maria just added it to the list of why Rue was so terrible. The woman was so high and mighty and was so convinced she was so much better then Maria but when it came to the boys, she was really curious how she could pretend to be the better woman.

Maria vowed that she would never be like Rue. She promised that she wouldn't go around ditching Ludwig constantly.

"Hold the boys." Antonio said breathlessly giving Lovino to Eli and Feliciano to Maria. He panted removing the diaper bag from its location around his neck before going rifling through it.

Maria winced when another contraction went through her body. She decided to focus on Feliciano who sat in her lap, and wonder _Where the fuck is my fucking room at? And my drugs?_ That was until there was a flash of light that filled the room and she looked up fast to see that Antonio was taking photos.

"Is that really necessary?" She half-growled glaring up at her best friend. Antonio really seemed to want her to really murder him and bury him in a shallow grave.

"It's for the scrap book." He answered cheerfully, "I have to make sure that Lovino and Feliciano remember the first time that they sat in a hospital waiting room!" he raised the camera again, "Now smiled!"

"NO!"

"Please—"

"Maria Beilschmidt, you're room's ready." A nurse called from the doorway.

"Finally." Maria breathed standing up and depositing Feliciano in the chair she had just been seated. Eli stood as well and placed Lovino in the same chair. Ivan just stood up. The two men followed Maria to the door.

"Sorry it took so long. It's a new moon so we've been kind of busy." This nurse wore pigtails tied with bright red ribbons and while she was polite and seemingly happy wasn't all that perky and seemed to be towards the end of her shift. "Right so these two are your in rooms?" She nodded towards Eli and Ivan. Before grabbing a discarded wheel chair for Maria, then began to walk down the hall. "I'm Michelle so if you need something you can hit the call light."

Eli grabbed ahold of the back of Maria's chair and the three followed behind the nurse. Maria let out a little yelp at the next contraction. "So when can I expect this party to be over?"

"So this if your first kid?" Michelle said glancing over her shoulder, "Honestly it could be an hour or heck a day and a half from now. Really it's hard to say… if you're taking bets," she stopped in front of a room and opened the door up for the three of them to file through while she took the time to think. "I guess I'll put five dollars on ten hours."

"TEN HOURS MORE OF THIS." Maria said struggling to get out of the wheel chair.

"Oh you're not even to the worst part yet." The nurse gave her a sadistic smile, "I may not of had a kid yet but the screams are burned into my memory from the two year's I've worked here." Her face brightened right up again. "So again I'm Michelle! Please use your call light if you need anything. Your doctor has been notified of your arrival and will be her shortly to inspect your progress." She shut the door behind her.

Maria and Eli were silent and shocked while Ivan looked rather happy. "I like that nurse, she seems like she's a lot of fun."

"Right, whatever." Maria said sitting on the bed. She let out another gasp of pain and clutched her stomach. "God dammit this shit fucking hurts."

The two men just looked at her unsure of what to say, so they just remained silent for fear of her wrath. "Do you want something to drink maybe, or something to eat?" Eli ventured to ask.

"I could go down to the cafeteria for you…" Ivan offered, "… if you would like."

"Why would I want something to eat?" Maria snapped.

"I don't know… as a distraction…?" Ivan offered in a careful tone.

"That's a shitty ass distraction." She said before yelping out again placing her hands on her stomach. "I mean it's not too bad right now, I'm starting to get used to the contractions I think. I'd just rather get this over with."

"Ah well that's good… that you're getting over the pain. So hopefully this will go well."

"It still sucks though." She settled into the bed.

There was a light knock at the door and the nurse from earlier returned carrying one of those white hospital gowns with little navy blue dots, "So I forgot to give this to you earlier, but if you cold please put this on. They kind of suck because there is no back though…" she handed it over to Eli since he was the one closer to the door. "Your doctor's arrived too, he asked me to make sure you were ready so he can see how dilated you are. I'll be right back with him, if you'll just change." Nurse Michelle left the three of them again with a little click of the door shutting.

The moment the door was shut Maria went to ripping off the dress that she had so far soiled with her sweet and ambeonic fluids. The poor thing didn't need any more of the bodily fluids associated with labor.

"What are you doing?" Eli asked half shocked as she wrestled her way around in the dress, flopping around on the hospital bed like a fish out of water.

"Taking this damn thing off! What does it look like?"

"With him here?" he pointed to Ivan.

"Well shit Eli, what a keen observation! Why yes that appears to be what is happening doesn't it?"

"But Ivan's still in the room."

"If he's the one who did this." She freed of her arms from the tangled wet fabric to motion that particular arm around her stomach as if she was a show room model displaying a bowling ball, around her stomach. "Then I am pretty sure I don't care if he sees me naked. I don't care if you see me naked either."

Eli was quiet and moved forward to help Maria out of her dress.

Ivan was the next person to speak though. "Where… where are your panties?" he asked noticing Maria's bare crotch.

"I decided to go commando today Ivan. If my naked cooch is something that you find disturbing, seeing how you've had no problem in the past suck right on it."

Eli winced, "Not a mental image I wanted to have cross my mind."

"Please you know that you've dreamed of eating this—"

A knock on the door interrupted her words, followed by a happy male voice. "Are you ready yet Miss Beilschmidt?"

"Not quite." Maria called out flinging her arms into the gown. Eli stepped forward to help close the top couple of buttons. "Alright, ready now!"

The door swung open and in strolled Dr. Vainomen. The little blond man had a huge grin on his face that seemed to yell out 'What a Beautiful Day to Birth Some Babies!'. And something inside of Maria wanted to smack that smile right of his face and onto the floor where she would stomp it right the fuck out. "Good afternoon Miss Bielschmidt," he kept up the tone despite her death glare. He looked about the room, "Oh Eli, right? I believe I met you at one of Maria's appoints."

"It's good to see you." Eli offered a hand to the Doctor who smiled and took it.

He let it go then looked to Ivan. "I'm afraid that I've never met you before." The man smiled, "I'm Doctor Timo Vaimoinen."

"Ivan Braginsky." His voice was low and a bit menacing but he still shook the other's hand.

Maria let out a high pitched noise before sucking in a quick breath of air through her teeth. "Are the introductions over then, 'cause I'm curious about my uterus pain."

"Oh yes of course!" the doctor turned on his heel and went to the sink to wash his hands, "So how long have you been having these contractions?"

"I'd say that it's been about an hour."

"Good, and they're coming right after one another?"

"I guess."

He turned off the sink and dried his hands before slipping them into a pair of vinyl gloves. "They told me, that you're water's broke."

"It has. My poor roommate was weeping over the carpet when we left." The memory of Francis's tears made her smile, just a little bit.

"So, there is no turning back." Tino kicked a stool to the foot of her bed and sat down in it. He pulled the stirrups out from their place beneath the bed and placed Maria's legs into them.

"Hold up. What are you doing?" Ivan asked nervously as the doctor unwrapped a speculum.

"I need to see how dilated she is Mr. Braginsky. You see babies come out from the vagina so I need to look there."

"Shouldn't the nurse do that? Since she's a woman?"

"Oh no, this is my job. If you're concerned that I may become aroused or something of that nature I'll let you know that I am a very professional man. And if the reminder that I am a professional doesn't put you to ease, maybe the fact that I am gay will."

"I—I didn't mean any kind of harm or—"

"Ivan just shut it, please?" Maria growled.

Timo went back to his work and after a brief examination sat up straight again. "You look like you're only three centimeters along." He stood up and removed his gloves, "That's not too bad considering that you've only noticed that you're labor began an hour ago, but you still have two more centimeters to go before you're halfway there. From what information my patents have told me, and from what I have studied in text books, the first half is the roughest after that the next five are smooth sailing."

Maria nodded along before eagerly asking, "So how much longer?"

"Hard to say. But you don't want to rush these things, if you're not fully dilated then there could be some vaginal tarring which I assume is terribly painful." He sighed.

"So how long until I get the spinal tap thing?"

"Whenever you get to five centimeters," He said with a little sigh, "Well, let's not worry too much about the drugs or anything like that yet. My advice to you would be to take a little nap and let nature take its course. Just relax ma'am and I'll be back if you need anything or if you don't then I'll be back to check up on you in a little while."

The next few hours went rather uneventfully other than Maria's yelps of pain and her sharp breaths. Ivan remained quiet most of the time, other than a couple of coughs. He just quietly watched Maria as she lay in the bed and Eli as he sat next to her offering his girlfriend a couple of comforting words. The call button went untouched, and both the doctor and nurse came in only for brief check-ins to make sure everything was progressing as to be expected. The staff also brought news of who had all arrived. Francis had come, brought her cellphone and glasses, and shortly after him her father had shown up and was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his first grandchild.

There was a calm that had settled in. The room was calm, and Ivan had not provoked Eli nor had the other man provoked him. Sure there were gasps of pain and small screams emitting from Maria but they'd grown used to it and that just seemed like background noise, like a clap of thunder during a storm. Expected and not shocking though it may have startled you to begin with.

Slowly, but surely though her yells became more frequent and her temperament grew sour; it wasn't as if Maria was a sweet woman to begin with on most days. She was very very rarely a 'sweet woman'. And if women who were normally kind and generous got violent and nasty while in labor a woman who's temperament was normally sour got that much more violent and nasty. She was swearing up storm and passing the room. She seemed to almost choke the kind doctor too when he came in to check on her progress. And she didn't calm down one bit until after they injected her with the epidural right in her spinal cord and though she protested when she had seen the needle the relief from the pain she felt made her relax.

"Total worth it." She said in a low voice once sedated. It got a laugh from everyone in the room.

And when the time came Ivan went to her left and Eli to her right, and Maria began to push. The doctors and nurse counted and Maria would follow their lead pushing, and swearing, and complaining; but she was still pushing.

And then all of a sudden there was the sound of a high pitched cry and the nurse took the baby wrapped him up in a towel. His sex was declared, his cord was cut, and he was cleaned up. Eli hurried away from the room to tell everyone that was waiting that Ludwig was now born. Maria raised up in the bed to catch a look at him as he was weighed and Ivan watched right there next to her.

The nurse came to Maria's side and smiling down at her handed her the baby. He wasn't screaming but just small, quiet, and asleep. She looked down at her son and smiled. It was a quiet moment, and when she glanced to the side to see Ivan standing their quietly starring at the two of them she looked up at him and said in a low voice, "Do you want to hold him too?"

The man nodded and Maria handed him over. Ivan remained silent as she examined his son's face. "I'm a bit disappointed…" he started "… he… he doesn't look at all like me."

And Maria laughed.


	12. Chapter 12

Maria held a now nearly six-month-old Ludwig on her hip. He was wide awake and focused on watching Eli and Francis maneuver her bedroom dresser out of the front door of the apartment and down to the moving truck waiting on the street. She was torn between feeling guilty about just standing there with the baby, and being happy that he was a valid reason not to be helping to move the last of the furniture. He was a good boy, and she could have set him down in his play pen for hours and he wouldn't cry or anything.

Ludwig was probably the most serious faced baby in the world. The way that he could stare down an adult was very impressive especially when you took into consideration that he wasn't even a year old yet. Maria had been concerned about his lack of tears; especially since all of her experience with children that young came from interactions with Antonio's boys (though she did suspect that Lovino and Feliciano were just naturally inclined to being overly emotional). The pediatrician had put her fears to rest though, once the man had ran a few tests and came to the conclusion that he was just a stoic baby. Maria shrugged it off and contributed his behavior to his German blood.

Francis stopped his efforts to slide the dresser into the hallway, signaling to Eli that he needed a bit of a rest by sighing. He set the dresser down then made a big show of stretching his back out and groaning before looking over at Maria. "You know this is your dresser, you could help us somehow." He placed his hands on his hips as if to add an emphasis to his point.

She simple shifted her little Ludwig so that her hands were positioned beneath his armpits, then raised the baby up as if she were presenting him from the top of pride rock. "Can't I've got a baby."

"I could hold him." Francis offered.

Eli simple snickered and rested his torso on the top of the dresser before watching Maria and Francis with a little smirk on his face. "Oh you know she won't give him up. You know how Maria is she likes to pretend she's a big, strong, independent woman but she hates work.

In one motion she moved her son back to his place on her hip and with her free hand flicked off Eli. "Yeah, that's exactly why I moved like half of those effing boxes on my own!"

"'iEffing/i'?" Francis and Eli both repeated confused.

"Baby- so I can't really use the word I wanted too... it's not appropriate or some junk like that."

"i'Junk'/i. What has gotten into you... using 'effing' and 'junk'" Francis laughed, "He's too young to speak, you've got e a couple more months, at least, before you have to worry about him repeating stuff at daycare and making you look like total white trash in front of the teachers."

"Yeah we'll he's a smart kid. I bet you hes going to start talking and walking before all the other loser babies! I just need to make sure I am careful and get into the practice of these things... since he's my kid he'll just be awesome like that!"

Eli rolled his eyes, "Oh right so you've got a theory that he's going to be smart because of you?" he snickered, Francis joined him.

"You know what with an attitude like that lets just unpack the truck and I'll not move in with you after all!"

"Not going to happen." Eli replied, "You already signed the lease and what am I going to do with a two bedroom apartment all to myself."

Francis nodded. "And I simply can't be bothered to move that stuff back into here, I already have plans for your old bedroom."

"Then why don't you too hurry up and finish moving that dresser?" Maria asked before nuzzling Ludwig who made a sound of approval hearing his mother's demand of the two men.

center /center

bAN/b And now I am done. Sorry it took so long to write the epilog and sorry it's so brief... and sorry for taking more then what like two years to complete the fill...? Anyways thanks to everyone who read this and a super special thanks to those of you who stuck with me through all that time... I hope that this wasn't too anti-climatic for you all! 3


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